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They came from outer space. Quietly, unbeknownst to us, they took root in our society under a shroud of secrecy. With their advanced technology light years ahead of our primitive tools, they opened our eyes to a new world. A better world. One where parents don't just tolerate but enjoy spending time with their children. Where art and commerce have been blended into one sanctimonious whole. Where story structure and entertainment are no longer oxymorons.

They come from a superior culture, a Utopian world. They traveled across time and space to make first contact and they have done so by bestowing us with a generous gift. A gift that demonstrates their ultimate wisdom in a manner that is easy for our lesser minds to comprehend. They have been living among us clandestinely. But upon revealing their latest masterwork, the truth is now clear and undeniable. The people that work at Pixar are all aliens.

Well, you tell me, then, because I can't find any other way to explain it. Anyone can make one great film. And on very rare occasion they can make a great sequel, too. But every piece of celluloid Pixar touches turns to pure gold. It's just not human. At first I saw them as a great success story. I was a huge fan of Toy Story, Monsters, Inc. and Finding Nemo. But then Pixar took it up a notch with The Incredibles. The chase on the lake blew my face clean off, Raiders style, and I started getting suspicious. Next was Ratatouille, a cooking rat, surely at least small step back. Wrong. When the criminally Oscar-free Peter O'Toole gave his review at the end, again, my face melted at the sheen of its brilliance (also reminiscent of Raiders). The following year with WALL-E, my jaw fell off five minutes in. Like clockwork - Pixar movie, broken face. These movies are too good. Something is not right.

This year, I almost didn't want to see Up. Honestly. I knew their hot streak had to end sometime and I didn't want to experience the disappointment of realizing that Pixar is human. The bar they had set for themselves had grown so high you'd need a house tethered by thousands of balloons to even see it. With my expectation meter, aka the movie destroyer, reading off the charts, it seemed inevitable that Up would miss the mark.

I went on opening day, trying to get in before any positive word-of-mouth could reach me. I did, however, make the mistake of seeing its RottenTomatoes score, a ridiculous 98%. Excluding Cars, the lone Pixar outcast that still came in at 75%, every Pixar movie is rated above 90%. And other than A Bug's Life (91%) all eight remaining Pixar films are rated 95% or higher. Jim Caviezel! About to buckle under the crushing weight of expectancy, I settled into my seat and put my 3-D glasses on over my hockey mask (this time I came prepared). Of course, they couldn't just start the movie and get the disappointment over with. First there has to be a short. A wonderful, hilarious, beautiful, touching short, in Partly Cloudy. Seriously, Pixar?

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