The Amazing Race 13, Episode 6

Please Hold Me While I Singe My Skull

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

November 2, 2008

Whenever you see Phil, you know it's been a crappy non-elimination round.

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All six teams get on the same flight, meaning we'll have a clean reboot with the Delhi leg. All Team Superbad has to do is not choke and they'll be fine. We're laying 1 to 3 odds that they choke.

Now it's time for one of the guarantees of every season of Amazing Race - the Ugly Americans Look Down on All Things India. You know, people, just because we don't have cows on the street here doesn't make India anything more than a different cultural standard.

Ken & Tina's relationship moves up to Defcon 3 as Ken takes time to point out just how she thinks she's always right about everything. It's a snide, dehumanizing remark that actually makes us take Tina's side - no small accomplishment.

Nick & Starr are first to arrive at Moonlight Motors and the Roadblock, where they have to paint a rickshaw. We think the India Tourism Board has demanded that the show make up for past atrocities by advertising that India's cab rickshaws are now environmentally friendly. Teams must paint them green. As was the case last week, this feels like pure busywork. Amazing Race is lacking imagination this season.

While the majority of teams are at the Roadblock, Ken & Tina and Terence & Sarah seem to be lost. What this means is that we get to hear Tina repeatedly say Moon. Light. Motors. in the most shrill voice imaginable. Please, please, make the bad pain go away. We're starting to see Ken's point. If we were spies, we'd be swallowing the cyanide pill. This is why you should never pick up a potential mate at the Playboy mansion. "How did everybody get here but us? That's amazing," Tina says. It's not that they're amazing. You just suck.


Driving home their current state of emotion, Ken notes, "We said that after this race we were going to make a decision either for or against this relationship. It's not going well right now."

Terence & Sarah aren't exactly getting along famously themselves. Terence (correctly) points out that Sarah is not following all the rules. Sarah immediately chastises him because she believes Terence's comments are tantamount to treason. He agrees to her wishes, but we would have given him more credit if he'd said, "Out of the teams currently doing the worst in this challenge, I'm proudest of you."

Tina & Ken or Terence & Sarah fighting is hardly shocking. Team Superbad being the first team out of the Roadblock, on the other hand, borders on Buster Douglas knocking out Mike Tyson. Of course, they can't find a taxi, which allows Nick & Starr to get ahead of them. That's more like it. We were freaking out for a second. Toni & Dallas also get out ahead of them. Ken & Tina get their cab about the same time that the frat boys are able to finally find one.

This leaves Terence & Sarah and Kelly & Christy at the Roadblock, and it's not going particularly well for either of them. Sarah is out of paint, which allows Kelly & Christy to finish the task ahead of them. For all of Sarah's griping, Terence has been right in his criticisms of her work all along. It's the old question of "do you want the job done fast or do you want it done right?" Since this is some sort of race, she has chosen poorly.

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