I Wanna See If I Can Make a Deal
By Jim Van Nest
May 13, 2007
Hello, good people, and welcome to the second to last episode of one of the more disastrous seasons of the reality giant, Survivor. After last week's debacle, I can't stress to you how hard it is for me to actually log in to do this recap tonight. If not for my undying love to my dozens of readers, I might just take tonight off and shave the cat or something. Anyway...previously on Survivor: eh, who am I kidding? Last week was a slam dunk from the get-go. Only some clever editing put any suspense into the vote. Alex was dead man walking from the opening scene. Only snippets of conversations were used to make us think he actually had a fighting chance. After a whole bunch of power plays and strategy sessions and pleading on Alex's part, he couldn't escape his fate. He was doomed to be one of the best strategists ever on the show stuck with the dumbest band of chucklenuts ever assembled on one beach. With the last of the non-alliance out the door, it's time for the Bula Bulas to eat their own. The previews for tonight are interesting as it seems that Yau Man tries to make a Reward Challenge deal and that there's an odd twist on who goes to Exile Island. One can only assume that the Reward Challenge winner sends themself to Exile in order to get the clues in a last ditch effort to locate the hidden immunity idol and guarantee themself a spot in the Sunday finale. Well, kids, I can't stall anymore, it's time to get to tonight's episode to see who will go home and who will be taking part in Sunday's Final Five finale.
We begin the morning after Alex's ouster and Boo, think tank that he is, is busy making a back door path to the water hole. Why? So he can sneak to the water well and listen to people to see if they're talking about him. Define irony: while Boo's making his path, the rest of the tribe sits around the camp fire and makes plans to get rid of him. Earl tells us that Boo's strength makes him the obvious choice for the next vote. We go back to Boo and his path. He's so proud of himself and tells us that if his name comes up on the chopping block, he'll know. Um, sorry big guy...it has and you don't.
We come back from the credits to see Stacy getting Tree Mail. The poem says they need to be "built tough" and is included with a hatchet. Everyone assumes it's the car challenge. As soon as it's determined to be a car challenge, Dreamz starts talking about not having a car and how much he really wants to win one. He actually asks the rest of the group to give him the car if they win. Are you frickin' kidding me? Now that's some industrial size coconuts there.
Probst sighting!! Before he explains the challenge, he shows them what they're playing for. And it's not a car. It's a big honkin' truck. The survivors will be broken up into two teams. They will be tied together. First, they have to navigate a series of see-saws. One person falls off; they all have to go back to the start. Then they'll have to get through a cargo net rig that looks pretty darned tight fitting to me. Once through there, they'll get to a sand pit where they'll have to dig until they find a buried hatchet. The first team to get their hatchet and cut through a rope (which will drop a huge crate into the bed of the new truck, by the way) will win the first part of the challenge and move on to the final stage. The first stage is that the three winners will all get in the truck after the challenge and take the crate (which is full to the brim with school supplies), they'll meet up with a huge mobile school office and they'll deliver both of these to a local school on the island. They'll get to give out the supplies to the kids and enjoy a picnic lunch with them. Now, THAT'S what I'm talking about. How cool would that be? Jeff will explain the final round when we get to it. Survivors ready?
The teams are Yau Man, Stacy and Boo against Earl, Dreamz and Cassandra. As the teams start off on the see saws, Yau Man falls off several times, causing his team to have to keep starting over. Dreamz and Co. are through the see saws while the other team is still at the very beginning. Finally the Yau team makes it through and they hit the cargo maze as the Earl team is getting out. In a pretty impressive display, Boo practically drags Stacy and Yau through the maze. He then starts digging like a madman and wouldn't ya know it, Boo comes up with the hatchet first, despite the fact that the Earl team was digging long before them. And there's goes Dreamz's dream of winning a car.