The Amazing Race All-Stars Episode 12
The Teletubbies Go To War
By Reagen Sulewski
May 4, 2007
The first three teams have now boarded, and it's left to Oswald & Danny to race across their second straight airport to make their flight. They're in luck this time, getting on just in the nick of time. Eric is his petulant little self, shooting laser beams at them for the Yield last leg (does no one understand the rules of this race?), but... deal.
With all the teams now on the same flight, this morning's drama was mostly for naught. It's completely wiped out when they arrive at the air force base and see that the actual events will be taking place at seven the next morning. Hooray for bunching?
The next day, seven out of eight of the racers are a little hot and bothered for meeting their military escort (Charla, I understand, is not that turned on by uniforms), and they're driven to the air traffic control tower, which is a not-insignificant climb. Dustin & Kandice reach the top first, and get the Detour. The choice here is between building a care package and then accompanying it on an airdrop training exercise, or scrubbing down a portion of a B-52 bomber, or essentially, time consuming but easy and quick but hard. Although cleaning is about as unattractive a task as there is on the race, speed is the important factor. All the teams except for Charla & Mirna choose to wash the bomber, and even then Charla & Mirna have a good excuse not to.
They pretty quickly make up for this smart decision by being annoying and saying that the reason they chose this is because they like to help people. What part of "training exercise" don't you get? The task requires them to load 500 pounds of supplies into a couple of boxes, which Mirna attempts to achieve by basically heaving it into the box. The military representative there is noticeably peeved by this and asks them "to load it with some degree of love, OK?" Personally, I think he shows a great deal of restraint not to strike them. She also decides that she needs to explain the importance of all the supplies she's loading in. I mean, just shut up! Who is it that you think you're talking to?
The planes are absolutely filthy and present a pretty tough scrub for all the teams, which mixed with the supreme attention to detail that the air force personnel are demanding, makes this task fun for no one.
As Charla & Mirna board the plane, Mirna declares that "this is the best thing I've ever done in my life!" Now, I'll be generous here and grant her that she still doesn't realize that this is just an exercise. But even then, this is still stupid. She's not actually providing the supplies, and it's not as if the Air Force was just holding back supplies from people in the hopes that someone would help them pack it. It's the military. They've got a pretty big labor pool. She then says, "I feel like Top Gun!" OK, first thing: this is a cargo plane, not a fighter. Do you feel like Top Gun on Continental Airlines? And second thing: Top Gun sat in the front of the plane. I couldn't dislike her more.