The Next Three Days
November 19, 2010
On the Big Board
||Everyone at the pitch meeting should have known this was a trainwreck waiting to happen. What did they do instead? Send more trains.
||So much wasted potential here. At least it picks up at the end.
Pop quiz, Hotshot. Your wife has just been accused of murder. You are pretty sure she has been framed but you also remember all of the evil stuff women have done to you over the years. What do you do, man? What do you do? Do you let her go off to prison and fantasize about all of the hot showers she’s taking with her new cellmates? Do you relish in the newfound opportunities afforded by the combination of AshleyMadison.com and the conjugal visits trailer? Alas, if you are a chronically angry Australian actor, what you choose to do instead is turn yourself into a master criminal overnight. That’ll learn those smug bastards at the police department, right?
Of course, you will need a plan. Since you are Russell Crowe, people know your constantly scowling face. Also, prisons are designed to keep the absolute worst people in the world, you know, imprisoned. Someone who has never committed a (major?) crime before probably needs a helping hand from a more established felon. Enter Liam Neeson, fresh back from his trip to all of the murderous areas of Europe in Taken. As someone who knows how to commit a crime or two (and start an international incident along the way), Neeson is the go-to person in Crowe’s desired field of felony.
Crowe may or may not also receive help from Elizabeth Banks, who portrays the possibly murderous wife in the movie. I’d like the movie premise better if it went the Presumed Innocent route and Banks turned out to be evil, but I am not holding my breath. Sweet, sweet Olivia Wilde is also onboard, hopefully portraying a nudist nymphomaniac. If she isn’t, this is a strong hint to potential casting directors for her next project.
The Next Three Days seems like a strange combination of Taken rip-off and Law Abiding Citizen rip-off. Given the pedigree of writer/director Paul Haggis and the presence of Russell Crowe as a (slightly) younger, (hugely) angrier Liam Neeson, it should not be dismissed out of hand, though. Then again, that trailer is…wow, is that thing ridiculous looking. (David Mumpower/BOP)