On the Big Board
||Better than the first one. Yes, I just damned it with the faintest of praise.
||The characters in this movie are some of the most offensively spoiled I have ever seen. Awful.
I’m way more familiar with Sex and the City than I’d like to be. If I come upon an episode, which isn’t hard to do these days thanks to TBS and the CW, there’s a very good chance that I’ve seen it before. There’s also a strong probability that I’ll be able to divulge the episode's entire plot, citing character names, back-stories and perhaps a few quotes along the way. Ugh.
My disdain isn’t because of some puffed up estro-phobic perception that Sex and the City is unmanly (okay, maybe a little). I used to really enjoy the show before I realized that Carrie and Co. weren’t whimsically hilarious but rather annoyingly spoiled. Will and Grace falls under the same tenet.
But let's face it, whether I like it, used to like it, or hate it makes no difference. This show and these films aren’t made for me any more than a Tyler Perry film is. I’m not the only guy who resisted the seeing the ladies carry out their antics on the big screen on Memorial Day weekend of 2008. Besides, we men had our own idol to behold. Of course, in retrospect, Indiana Jones 4 was probably way more painful. The fact is, no men were going to the Sex and the City movie under their own free will and most girls probably preferred it that way. Thus, the burning question on the eve of its opening was this: could women alone make the movie a hit in a cinematic climate so completely dominated by males? Answer? Hell, yes.
The significance of SatC’s $57 million opening was that unlike other female targeted fare - i.e. the latest Matthew McConaughey offering – this was not counter-programming or cookie-cutter February filler. This was a genuine tentpole release that stood up and was counted with the “big boys” and had numbers to back it up. Domestic gross: $152 million. Worldwide gross: $415 million. Disappointed men: Priceless.
With these stats, and women now confirmed as the most formidable new box office demographic since Christianity, Sex and the City Part Deux was stuffed into the pipeline.
Like the first film, the plot is being kept tightly under wraps, other than Kristen Davis saying it will be “very different” and SJP declaring it will be “a romp!” Thanks, ladies. However, I have a source on the inside that has given me the lowdown. You heard it here first on BOP, the exclusive skinny on the plot of Sex and the City 2. Carrie and Big are happy, then they aren’t, Carries write about it. Charlotte is uptight about things. Miranda has short hair and is neurotic. Samantha talks in a phone sex voice. They go to brunch, clubs and perhaps an international destination featuring pretty scenery. They wear expensive shoes, clothes and talk in hyper-scripted banter that sounds just like what every woman thinks she and her friends sound like. Roll credits.
At the risk of improper preview formatting I will forgo the primary cast rundown as I have hard time believing that someone, be it male, female or Christian Bale (that isn’t a comment on the gender of Christian Bale; it just rhymes) doesn’t know the name, traits and which of the four leading ladies they are most like. I’m a Charlotte.
The supporting cast looks to remain the same with many of the ladies' counterparts, Chris Noth, Evan Handler and David Eigenberg signed on. In Noth’s case, his involvement was initially in doubt. Whether he was holding out for money or playing chicken with his dignity is his own business, but money, as it always seems to, won out. Apparently, it takes seven figures to gag your dignity.
Michael Patrick King, whose hand has been in almost every Sex and the City offering at every level, be it TV or film, be it writer, director or producer, will do the same for the sequel. All that’s left is for King is to strap on Manolos, grab a cosmo and start bashing men. I apologize for using the most obvious and tired trademarks but my knowledge of the fashion world is akin to Michael Bay’s knowledge of restraint.
The only other tidbit of info is that some of the cast and crew have recognized the ladies' frivolous spending, one of the franchise's hallmarks, is not exactly up with times given our current economic situation. Vows have been made not just to acknowledge but also incorporate this into the film on some level. Personally, I don’t think the audience really cares. The reason they’re going to this movie is to forget about things like a financial crisis. It’s not like Transformers commented on the status of the auto industry.
Speaking of Transformers, it’s funny to compare the two. Robots that turn into sports cars may be a completely different chromosome altogether, but I think the shoe fits (puns!). Like Transformers, the plot of Sex and the City plays almost no factor in the target audience’s enjoyment of the film, which, when you think about it, is really something. With Sex and the City, women finally have their own mindlessly entertaining money spewing franchise. Women get a raw deal in the movies. In front of the camera, unless they’re named Cate or Kate, women are generally stuck with roles that feature little dialogue and little clothing. It’s only fitting that in Sex and the City men are the two-dimensional brainless eye candy. Behind the camera, it’s even worse. Quick, name five female directors without the aid of Wikipedia.
Now that they’re recognized as a box office force, hopefully women will get to see more films made just for them. Films they can enjoy with their friends without us smelly guys around. And hopefully one day, films that are made not just for women but by them too.
So to all you ladies out there, I wish you a marvelous time at the movies. Let me know how SatC 2 is, because there’s no way in hell I’m going to see it. That is, unless Aiden comes back. (Tom Macy/BOP)