Survivor: Fiji Recap

Episode One - Something Cruel is About to Happen

By Jim Van Nest

February 10, 2007

The producers of Survivor were sad to learn that the hottest girl was voted off first.

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And we jump right into the show as we catch up with the boat landing on the beach. As introductions are going around, the first person we get to meet is Rocky. He's a walking stereotype. Apparently, he reminds people of Stallone, hence the nickname Rocky. He says it must be because James is too hard to remember. And did I mention he's the token bartender this season? What follows is best described as pandemonium. With no info, they have no idea what to do. They're not divided into tribes. Jeff isn't there to meet them. So they go exploring. We meet a construction worker named Boo, a cheerleading coach named Dreamz and a Cirie-wannabe named Cassandra. She says her outdoor experience consists of being maybe 40 feet off the road, so this is going to be quite interesting for her. We also get another snippet of Rocky. Seeing him twice before we see 14 of the other contestants seems like a bit of an omen to me. I have a feeling Rocky is going to be a focal point of the show. I think I'll call him Boston Rob Jr.

The next person we meet is an older Asian man named Yao Man. I think I'll call him the Anti-Cao Boi. He was born and raised on the island of Borneo (site of the very first Survivor, by the way) and he knows his way around the jungle and a coconut. He's the type of guy that could prove to be a huge asset to a tribe, if he makes it through the first vote. He even mentions that he knows older people are the first voted off, so he's hoping to make some sort of mark early on to get to stay in the game.

The discussion starts to turn to what's going on. How do they split up 19 people into 2 tribes? They don't have a tribe name. Where's Jeff? What's the deal? And right on cue, Jeff's plane flies overhead and he dumps a crate out into the ocean. As a dozen or so head out to get the crate, they bring it back and now the frickin stooges get to try to open it by dropping in on a rock, throwing the rock on the box. After no success, Yao Man comes in, picks up the box and cracks it open in ten seconds or so. He uses his brain a bit and drops the box on its weakest spot, the corner, and after two drops it cracked right open. There ya go, big guy - you are already proving yourself. Good for you.


Once the crate is opened, they find a note, a map and some plans for a shelter. Apparently, they are to use the map to find a huge pile of supplies which they will use to build a shelter as designed on the plans. The shelter will have a kitchen, a bathroom and several luxury items. Alex, our Harvard Law graduate, is excited at first, but quickly remembers, "This is Survivor, this is gonna mean that something very cruel is gonna happen very soon."

When we get back from break, the tribe now has a goal and they're beginning to work together and assume roles. They finally find the supplies for the shelter. And everyone is beginning to feel suspicious about it. As it turns out, Sylvia is an architect and she is quickly given the plans and put in charge of the shelter project. And in typical Survivor fashion, she is told to figure them out and get them organized, followed by the bitching that she's trying to take control and tell people what to do. As Sylvia mentions that one of the supports is slightly askew, Rocky jumps in by saying, "All right, here's what's gonna happen, whenever there's a big word in a sentence, we're all gonna have a timeout and teach James the big word." I could be wrong, but this guy could turn out to be one of the most fun guys we've had on this show. Also, I have a feeling he's WAY smarter than he's letting on. It'll be interesting to see how this strategy works for him.

The first bit of game play we see is between Erica, a non-profit fundraiser, and Jessica. They make a quick little early game alliance. Erica says she's going to be talking to a lot of people to see where they are. And I think we have our first player in Erica.

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