5 Ways to Recap 2017

By George Rose

January 3, 2018

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NUMBER THREE - GAME CHANGERS: Financial winners and losers alike have the power to change the course of Hollywood. Here are a few movies that earned or lost the kind of money that has lasting consequences.

1) IT: Stephen King finally got what he deserved as It gets crowned the biggest horror film of all time. Next up, It: Chapter 2 and 1,000 other King adaptations.

2) GET OUT: Scary movie masterminds (Blumhouse Productions) join forces with the comedic talents of a first time director (Jordan Peele) to turn a $5 million investment into a $175 million racial thriller that’s currently riding the wave of awards season.

3) JUSTICE LEAGUE: The fifth film in the DC Universe is the first to team up the whole gang and also the lowest earner of the bunch. Just when you thought Wonder Woman changed the game, Justice League blows up the field. Marvel wins the war.

4) THE GREAT WALL: China spends $150 million to create a worldwide blockbuster starring Hollywood superstar Matt Damon. It earns only $45 million in America and stalls China’s attempt at taking over Hollywood.

5) WONDER: In a year where the top three films at the box office all star beautiful women, Wonder shocks the nation by having an ugly boy earn over $100 million. I’m sure this has nothing to do with the presence of the still-gorgeous Julia Roberts.




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NUMBER FOUR - WORST MOMENTS FROM THE BEST MOVIES: Too many people are negative for negatives sake. I would prefer to harness that negativity into criticism to help make future movies better. Superhero movies dominated the box office in 2017 and always dominate my heart, but some good movies could be better.

1) END OF WONDER WOMAN: The whole movie was great, right up until Diana confirms Ares is real and battles him. Cut out the end and save Ares for the sequel.

2) BEGINNING OF JUSTICE LEAGUE: After reshoots were filmed with Henry Cavill rocking a mustache and millions were spent trying to digitally remove it, the film starts with a pointless scene that showcases the worst CGI Superman face of all time.

3) GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY 2’S EGO MUSEUM: Despite claims he didn’t love Star Lord’s mom, Ego built a super creepy museum of memories in her honor.

4) SPIDER-MAN HOMECOMING: Peter Parker shows signs of cultural evolution as he find himself attracted to women outside his race, but the writers only used this beautiful addition of inclusion as a cheap distraction for the villain’s connection reveal.

5) DUNKIRK: Christopher Nolan’s extensive and brilliant filmography comes to an end as this masterfully crafted awards contender proves to be an epic bore.

NUMBER FIVE - GEORGE’S RANDOM FAVORITES: I love movies for all the right and wrong reasons, and that combination makes it hard to create a proper list of my favorite films. Also, I still haven’t seen all the movies released from 2017 so any list made would be incomplete. Here are just some of the movies that entertained me last year.

1) SPIDER-MAN HOMECOMING: If i was to allow myself only one superhero movie to appear on my Top 5 list, Spider-Man’s grand return to Marvel would be it.

2) DISASTER ARTIST: I haven’t started catching up on all the awards contenders yet but I did see Disaster Artist and it was incredible. It was funny, touching, heartbreaking and uplifting.

3) BABY DRIVER: I’m not usually one to go crazy over mobster movies but it turns out a touch of music and a bit of Edgar Wright was all the genre needed.

4) BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: I’m a sucker for these modern Disney princess updates and I worship the ground Emma Watson walks on.

5) ALIEN COVENANT: Considering how against this franchise I was as a kid, it amazes me how bold and daring the series is. Each entry strives for something new and this one continues the expansion on that mythology with great action and scares.


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