5 Ways to Prep: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

By George Rose

May 3, 2017

There'd better freaking not be any Ed Sheeren on this soundtrack.

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SUMMER IS FINALLY HERE! Well, not technically but it is for the box office and that’s all that matters in my world. Marvel is back at it again, kicking things off with its latest superhero blockbuster as it has done for the last decade. They have dominated this first weekend of May and released several titles that have gone on to claim the biggest opening weekend record. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 isn’t expected to do that this weekend but it has a chance at entering the top ten list if it can top $160 million. That is certainly possible.

Starting now and going until at least early August, we have a possible power house coming to theaters every week. This doesn’t just excite me because I like going to the movies. Oh no, my love for film is waaaaay deeper than that. This even goes further than enjoying all the behind the scenes drama and celebrity gossip, of which I am also a fiending junkie. No no no, this is about the numbers, folks. Box office profits (see what I did there?).

The way some dudes talk about sports stats, that’s how I follow movies. It baffles me when people have no idea what is being released this week or was the top grosser of the week prior. Don’t people watch TV? Someone will say, “Oh, I didn’t know that came out,” and I’ll be like “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is days away and should earn more than $150 million but might earn less if all the Mexicans and Indians are at the second weekend showings of How to be a Latin Lover or Baahubali 2 which opened big in limited release last weekend…” Then they interrupt me saying, “Ummm I don’t know what you’re saying but I did hear something about that superhero one.” And then I tell them to go have sex with a minority and educate themselves.


Numbers, people. It’s about the numbers, how the past helps predict it and what that means for future releases. Beauty and the Beast is closing in on $500 million domestically, supposedly proving Emma Watson is one of the biggest stars in the world and yet The Cirlce just opened last weekend and couldn’t even muster a $10 million weekend. That says something, but since nobody saw The Circle nobody is talking about it at the water cooler, only on box office websites, so nobody is saying Emma Watson isn’t the bullet proof wizard we all thought she was. Instead, she rolls on as everyone’s new favorite Disney princess but that shouldn’t be the case. CHINK IN THE ARMOR, I say.
What the past does tell us and has consistently proved over time is that we are in for some big numbers this weekend. Marvel has no chinks in the armor. They don’t even have blemishes, really. Not even me, as a Marvel super fanatic that has salivated with stupidity and joy at the last five NYC Comic Cons, knew what Guardians of the Galaxy was before its release in 2014. Somehow it opened to over $90 million and chugged along past $330 million, claiming the title of biggest summer blockbuster of that year. What?! How?! Because numbers and Marvel and movies and summer and OMG MAY IS FINALLY HERE!!!

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