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There’s very little separation in the times of the various teams this morning, but it’s one of those rare instances where seconds count. Cindy & Rick, whom we resent having to call Team #ChacAttack, depart only nine minutes after #TeamTexas. They wind up on the second bus due to a lack of urgency. Conversely, #The Reporters finally do something of note. The seventh team to depart at 6:30, they win the taxi lottery to the bus station. Then, they note that #TeamTexas is in line at the terminal. They follow the two gentlemen, one of whom is limping badly, and ask for the same reservation. When they reach the first bus, the door is closed, but they plead their way on, moving them up to the top half of this leg.

The bottom group forced to wait on the second bus includes Mr. & Mrs. DoctorDentist (really, really hate to type #ChacAttack), track stars Jazmine & Danielle, #TheCheerleaders, and the feudin’ Paparazzi. As the last team to depart, #TheDancers should be thrilled that there’s bunching. As clearly the worst remaining team, it still won’t matter much to them in the long run, though. And the news gets worse for them. They fail to reach the second bus before it departs. So, they’re in last place by a huge amount and have demonstrated little skill in the competition. This episode feels like a foregone conclusion after less than 10 minutes.

There are three teams on the first bus. Prior to #TheGreenTeam’s arrival on the bus, #TeamTexas tries to manipulate #TheReporters to do their bidding. They state that the team who slams a U-Turn on Justin & Diana will get the Express Pass. They also explain why they don’t like Justin, which comes down to the fact that he’s better than them. After the six people exit the bus station and jump on pick-up trucks, Josh describes what’s happening. The telling quote is, “#TheGreenTeam’sright in front of us. *pauses and laughs* As always.” Tanner doesn’t laugh and shoots a death glare at his partner. Okay, we like Josh better.

The first challenge today is Gaucho Grill. A bunch of men in kicky hats called gauchos sit around a campfire and grill Flintstone-sized racks of ribs. The players have to prepare several slabs of meat for cooking. The key steps are that the bones must face out, the right side (the butt) should face upward, and the players must skew the meat properly. This challenge makes us hungry.

Our favorite part of this leg is that clever dogs hang out near the campfire, anxiously awaiting scraps. If we were playing, we’d lose to everybody, because we’d be too busy petting and feeding the puppies. Josh & Diana do exactly this, while reporter Kelsey watches indifferently. If you’re a Nielsen family in Ventura, California, remember this slight against all dogs and animal lovers.

Just before and just after the commercial break, the story switches to #TheDancers. How bad is their situation? Everyone else got on a bus in the dark. #TheDancers are standing in broad daylight at a platform, awaiting a bus that is yet to arrive. It’ll be nothing short of a miracle if they’re not eliminated. Even making this a non-elimination leg would be pointless, because they’ve got to be several hours behind by now.

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