The Amazing Race Season 26 - Episode 10

Fruits of Our Labor

By David Mumpower and Kim Hollis

May 4, 2015

Muscles don't win The Amazing Race. I mean, they can, but not this time.

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Laura’s Worst. Birthday. Ever. continues as she and her blind date fail to discover the clue box quickly. After looking around the correct area for too long, they even get back in their taxi and head to a different location. While stuck in traffic, Laura gloats about seeing the Speed Bump but not mentioning anything to Matt and Ashley. Tyler sits up straight, recognizing the obvious fact she missed. That’s where the cluebox is. So, he tells the taxi driver that they’re getting out and heading back where they just came from. They’re having a terrible leg.

Matt & Ashley are doing exactly the same thing, and they too have the epiphany that they were just in the wrong place. A couple of those enterprising cab drivers got a lot fewer American dollars than they anticipated.

“Her with a machete, like, scares me.” – Blair, watching Hayley

“I’m never a person that yells ever, so it talks a lot to make me mad.” Hayley, lying through her teeth.

Folks, we’re just going to say it. The moment Blair & Hayley finally wind up in bed, their adrenaline-fueled hate sex will prove so combustible that it could cause spontaneous orgasms across the country.


The lamest Speed Bump in recent memory requires the hair stylists to employ an old-fashioned typewriter (ask your parents what these are, kids) to type out a loan application for a llama. Dear TAR producers: you phoned that one in and you know it.

Ashley two-finger types her way to victory while Matt Can’t. Do. Anything. He asks for help after virtually every keystroke. Dude must never use a computer. Hey, that means we can say anything we want about him since he’ll never read it. For a hair stylist, Matt has surprisingly bad hair. Also, we think his accent is fake.

The two teams way out ahead of the pack finish at roughly the same time. Jenny is as clumsy as she indicated and also doesn’t seem to have much skill as a worker bee. Hayley goes faster, presumably by envisioning that each stalk is Blair’s face. Both teams are directed to Parque Ramon Castilla, 10,000 feet above sea level in The Andes.

They also have to do some stuff involving a crass Fitbit tie-in, which we find shameless, and we say that as people whose friends consider us Fitbit evangelists. Along those lines, Hayley’s Fitbit only says she has 7,528 steps. What a wuss. We aim for 11,000 every day, and we’re not aiming a machete at Sugar-Blair.

The men handle the machetes for the bottom three teams. Mike, Tyler and Matt all get to chopping, with Mike having a huge lead over Tyler that dissipates quickly. Tyler’s better physical shape allows him to catch Mike and finish first. The two teams are virtually tied after they finish the Fitbit busy work and depart. The hairstylists are nowhere to be seen. Barring something unforeseen, they’re going home tonight.

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