| Jupiter Ascending | Seventh Son | The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water | WINNER
(1 point per category) |
| Clearest Title | Sounds like a sci-fi movie? | Sounds like a martial arts movie? | Sounds like a SpongeBob SquarePants movie. | SpongeBob wins this point for the most recognizable title. |
Best Genre
and Rating | Sci-fi Action
Rated PG-13 for some violence, sequences of sci-fi action, some suggestive content and partial nudity | Fantasy Action
Rated PG-13 for intense fantasy violence and action throughout, frightening images and brief strong language | Animation
Rated PG for mild action and rude humor. | SpongeBob wins this point for not being a PG-13 action fantasy/sci-fi movie. |
Best Plot
(in haiku form) | Earth girl is space queen
Just finds out. They want her dead
Galactic space fights | Guy finds out, he’s heir
Medieval witch wants him dead
Dragons, swords, and fights. | SpongeBob and his friends
Interact with human world
Humor, laughs ensue | SpongeBob wins this point for having a different plot than the first two movies. |
| Best Trailer | PROS: An amazing trailer, and a fun plot by the Matrix creators
CONS: Judging by the trailer, there won’t be any cons. | PROS: An all right trailer with fun visuals
CONS: The trailer didn’t make me care about the characters, plot, or much of anything else. | PROS: SpongeBob humor throughout! (and CGI SpongeBob throughout)
CONS: None, if you like SpongeBob humor throughout! | Jupiter Ascending and SpongeBob Squarepants split the point for best trailer. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Channing Tatum from 21 Jump Street and Step Up. | Ben Barnes from The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. | SpongeBob SquarePants from his TV show. | All three men will split the point for coolest actor. |
| Best Cast | Mila Kunis (That 70’s Show), Eddie Redmayne (The Theory of Everything), and Sean Bean (Lord of the Rings) | Julianne Moore and Jeff Bridges (The Big Lebowski), Kit Harington (Game of Thrones), and Djimon Hounsou (Gladiator) | Antonio Banderas (Desperado), Frankie Muniz (Malcolm in the Middle), and Slash (Guns N’ Roses). | And all three movies will split the point for best cast. |
Best Street Cred
For the Production | Writers and Directors Andy and Lana Wachowski also wrote and directed The Matrix. | Director Sergey Bodrov also directed Mongol. | Director Paul Tibbitt also directed some SpongeBob SquarePants TV episodes. | The Wachowski siblings will win the point for best street cred. |
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