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The two teams are forced to alternate from that point forward. The only surprise is that Adam & Bethany fail on their first attempt.

The sweet scientists do not lose this leg, but you would never know it from their outcry during the Detour. The first team to arrive, they are provided the choice of China Cups or Chili Crabs. The latter requires a team to crack open lobsters until they have two pounds of meat, which seems easy to me. The former is deep tissue massage using glass cups for suction. There is also fire involved. The moment I hear the words “fire” and “massage,” I decide that Chili Crabs is the obvious call. The sweet scientists focus on massage…and make a horrible decision.

The Amazing Race leads to some fascinating overreactions. Exhibit A occurs during this episode, and it proves to be important to the final result. The wrestlers arrive in time to see the sweet scientists packing their stuff to head out for the ill-fated massage. They ask where the clue box is. Maya is currently packing, so Amy tries to direct them to the correct area. Brooke and Robbie take offense to this, feeling that Maya disrespected them. I watched the incident about four times.

Unless there is something unaired that was missed, this entire “incident” is in their head. Maya cannot point due to her hands being full. That’s it. The wrestlers act like she is their personal Hitler. Also, none of this would even have happened if the two of them could find a clue on their own. They literally walk right past it while whining. How they have made it this far in the race while being this incompetent eludes me. Maybe I should ask Robbie’s hat since it’s the brains of the operation.

The dentists are next to walk the tightrope. Jim actually falls off the rope, which makes him grateful for all of the supporting wires. He will wake up screaming about this for decades to come. It must be absolutely terrifying to be held up by wires 600 feet in the air. To his credit, he performs admirably the second time through. I am not a fan of uber-confident Jim, but I do have to say it’s refreshing to see a reality show egomaniac who actually backs up his bluster.

The poor, naïve sweet scientists talk about how awesome their massage is going to be. Then, it devolves into the type of audio generally heard in a gorno movie. Maya starts screaming like her body is on fire. And the actual fire has not been employed yet! For the next several minutes, she wails like a banshee, making sounds generally only heard during adult movies and actual murders. I bet some lobster meat would taste great right about now, right Maya?

The real action of the episode continues to transpire at the Flow Rider. The governor calls for Alli and Kym when soul surfer Adam fails to surf soul-ly enough. His fall gives the cyclists another opportunity. Adam fears the worst, noting that Alli (!) has perfect form. Ironically, amusingly, and confusingly, Kym is the one who chokes. She manages only 15 seconds of surfing before collapsing under the pressure of competition. The soul surfers immediately succeed in their second attempt, earning the Fast Forward. The cyclists are, in fact, mega-screwed.

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