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Survivor: Caramoan - Finale (Part 1)

Million Dollar Question

By Ben Willoughby

May 13, 2013

In a huge shocking twist, neither of these players won Survivor.

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Meanwhile, Cochran is affirming to Dawn that he “is locked” to go to the end with her, and Sherri is also “locked." Dawn is nervous because the other pair are obviously talking, and the only logical conclusion is that they are talking about getting rid of Dawn. Cochran suggests Sherri is just trying to curry favor with the inevitable immunity challenge winner.

Cochran interviews that “every day I get to see a new freak-out from Dawn." He goes through them all, “over the top weeping, flailing of arms, asking to be left alone” and says that today it is a “catatonic breakdown... with a sudden influx of paranoia." As superior as Cochran sounds in this interview, he doesn’t seem wrong. Dawn has an interview where she agrees. “The longer I am out here, the harder it is not to be paranoid.” She is embarrassed by her behavior, which she compares to “a baby stomping my feet."

Anyway, Cochran reinforces to Dawn that there is no scenario where he would be voting her off, before an interview where he says “every day is a roller-coaster with her, it’s not fun, it’s not funny. On Day 37 she should be paranoid, because I’m considering ditching her." That would make the game more interesting.

After the break. Cochran and Dawn come back with treemail, which contains a truly appalling poem, even by treemail standards. It’s time for the Walk of Fallen Survivors. Cochran blankly stares in interview as he lies about how he has been really looking forward to this. Not if he is a fan of the show, he isn’t.

Here are the list of the fallen.

Francesca. Cochran says she made Survivor history, but at least she was voted off for being a huge threat this time. Francesca voice-overs that she is honored to be there, even if she is the least successful of everyone. But she finds it pretty funny.




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Allie. Cochran is confused about which blonde Allie was. “Reynold’s blonde,” says Sherri. Allie learned quickly that Survivor is not about money, and declares she will be “friends for life” with the other cool kids who she knew for six days. Doesn’t she have any real friends?

Hope. “Eddie’s first Survivor sweetheart,” says Sherri. “My first Survivor love,” says Eddie. Hope voice-overs that it was an incredible experience, and she “would do it again in a heartbeat, without Eddie.” It sounds like Hope is used to dealing with unwanted boyfriends.

Shamar. “Brother from another mother,” is how Sherri describes him. A mother with mood swings and anger management problems. “Misunderstood in this game,” says Sherri, which is probably true. Shamar voice-overs that he has never had that much pain.

Laura. The only thing said about Laura is Cochran saying “Laura." She talks about how she appreciates the people back home more.

Brandon. Dawn says Brandon was a “challenge beast," but his “personal life became too difficult to manage." Brandon voice-overs that “I was giving it everything I got. I was playing for a million dollars, and when I knew I couldn’t have it. I just wanted to starve some folks. I made it rain,” he says which is an accurate description of the huge tantrum he threw at everyone, including the people who liked him, and squealed like a baby. He “don’t regret nada," and claims to have been “the author of my elimination." Still trying to make fetch happen. I look forward to seeing you at the reunion, Brandon!


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