Monday Morning Quarterback Part II

By BOP Staff

February 5, 2013

The night the lights went out in Louisiana doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

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Kim Hollis: Bullet to the Head, 66-year-old Sylvester Stallone's latest action film, opened to $4.5 million this weekend. What went wrong here?

Matthew Huntley: For starters: It. Sucked. (Full review forthcoming.) There wasn't anything enticing about this movie - not the action, the "humor," the buddy-cop aspect. It was quite painful to sit through because after a while you realize it's not going to make of fun of B action movies; it simply is one. Audiences obviously saw right through it, and good for them, because they saved themselves time and money. Stallone, even at his age, seems like a smart man, but Bullet to the Head is just plain garbage. It also surprises me it was directed by Walter Hill (The Warriors). I guess every actor and director makes a stinker from time to time. God knows Stallone has had his fair share; this is his latest.

Bruce Hall: Dateline - "Bullet to the Head gets capped at box office.” Is that insensitive? I don't think so, because it means that within weeks of each other, both Arnold and Sly have been put out of our collective box office misery before too many people had a chance to endure it. To be fair, Sly has actually made worse films. And his career (as an action hero at least) has got to be on borrowed time as it is. This is an embarrassment, but whatever you already thought of Sylvester Stallone, Bullet to the Head shouldn't make much of a difference.

David Mumpower: Let's face reality. The only old man people want to see kick ass in an action film right now is Liam Neeson.


Brett Ballard-Beach: Three straight weeks. Three Expendables co-stars having box office results ranging from meh to bleh. This had been shuffled around and landing on Super Bowl weekend suggests WB was pretty much writing it off. A strong hook is needed more than an action hero movie star these days. I am sad to see Matthew so displeased as I think Walter Hill is one of the great modern day B movie directors: Hard Times, The Driver, The Warriors, 48 Hrs, Streets of Fire, Johnny Handsome, Wild Bill, and the B-movie-est Christmas Day opener of the last 25 years: 1992's terrific Trespass with two Ices (T and Cube) and two Bills (Paxton and Sadler) locking horns over hidden gold in the heart of burned-out Chicago. My advice would be to stream that movie.

Tim Briody: This somehow cost $55 million to make! Good gravy, that's absolutely ridiculous. I hope people get fired over this one. Like I said, nobody cares about these old timers anymore unless you put all of them in one movie (like the Expendables) or you just stick to your sequels (like Die Hard 5 in a couple weeks).

Reagen Sulewski: I mean, if you wanted more evidence generic action was dead, you really need look no further. A big problem with these films is that they look no different in quality from any number of Direct to... Whatever it is we're calling those films these days. I mean, I'm much more interested in seeing the latest Universal Soldier sequel (which, OK, did get a theatrical release, but you get my point) than any of The Last Stand, Bullet to the Head or Parker. And, sure, that's a relative term. But for action, we're looking for big set pieces, exotic locations, and evolved plots and characters. I sort of feel bad for people making these films now in sort of the same way I feel bad for the main character in The Artist. It doesn't particularly help that young audiences relate to Stallone and Schwarzenegger in the same way I'd have related to a theoretical Steve McQueen or John Wayne film released in the 1980s.

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