This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for December 21-23, 2012

By Curt David

December 21, 2012

This is the weirdest buddy cop pairing ever.

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, Dumbo, Operation Dumbo Drop, Water for Elephants, and The Elephant Man all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My alphabetical actress crush list...X is for any of the X-Men actresses).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of December 21st, the new movies in wide release are The Guilt Trip, Jack Reacher, Monsters, Inc. 3D, and This is 40 (Cirque Du Soleil: Worlds Away will have a smaller wide release this weekend).

The Guilt TripJack ReacherMonsters, Inc. 3DThis is 40WINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleSounds like the name of a comedy adventure.Sounds like the titular name of an action hero.Sounds like an animated re-release in 3D.Sounds like a stage of life comedy.Monster's Inc. 3D has the clearest title. You know that it will be a good movie. Point.
Best Genre
and Rating
Rated PG-13 for language and some risque material.
Rated PG-13 for violence, language, and some drug material.
Rated G!
Rated R for sexual content, crude humor, pervasive language, and some drug material.
We got some varying genres and ratings! 1/4 point for each film.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
“Get ready for one mother of a road trip.”

5/5 Ha! Mother is a great adjective, and this is a mom/son road trip!
“The law has limits. He does not.”

3/5 This is a pretty BA tagline.
“Monsters, Inc.: We scare because we care.”

3/5 That’s the tagline from 2001.
“The sort-of sequel to Knocked Up. ”

4/5 I like this tagline a lot.
The Guilt Trip has a mother of a tagline. Point.
Best Part of TrailerIt was enjoyable. I'm glad I watched it, but I didn't laugh once.Looks like a generic thriller with the good degree of Cruise. And I liked the hat sharing scene.It's a good movie. You'll remember that when you watch the trailer. I laughed three times. It’s a toss-up. I’m wary of comedies, Monsters, Inc. has already been released, and Reacher looks fine. I guess Reacher gets the point.
Coolest Lead ActorBarbara Streisand from Meet the Fockers, A Star is Born,and Funny Lady. Tom Cruise from Mission Impossible, The Firm, and Jerry Maguire. John Goodman from Roseanne and Argo is the voice of Sulley. Paul Rudd from Clueless, Role Models, and I Love You, Man. He was also in A Few Good Men, Top Gun, Risky Business and Magnolia. Cruise wins the point.
Best CastSeth Rogen (Pineapple Express)Richard Jenkins (The Visitor)The voices of Billy Crystal (When Harry Met Sally) and some other celebrity voicesLeslie Mann (Knocked Up) and Jason Segel (The Muppets)Casts are pretty slim. 1/4 point for each film.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director Anne Fletcher has also directed Step Up, 27 Dresses, and The Proposal. Writer and Director Christopher McQuarrie has also written The Usual Suspects, Valkyrie, and The Tourist. Writer and Director Pete Docter also wrote and directed Up. Writer and Director Judd Apatow has also written and directed Knocked Up and The 40 Year-Old Virgin. One of the best collection of street cred ever! 1/4 point all around again.

So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Jack Reacher scores 2 and 3/4 points, Monsters, Inc. and The Guilt Trip score 1 and 3/4th points each, and This is 40 scores 3/4 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you liked Knocked Up, feel free to watch This is 40. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Jack Reacher is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Rogue was my favorite X-Men character in the 1990s cartoon.
Conclusion 3: Also, Rain Man, Born on the 4th of July, Days of Thunder, Interview with the Vampire, Minority Report, The Last Samurai, and Tropic Thunder. Impressive.




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