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Every second the twins speak causes us pain. We’re not even going to recap the bitchy things they say.

For those teams who are actually not on an airplane, they are getting their clue, which directs them to proceed to Moskvoretsky Most, which we presume is Russia’s answer to Donny Most.

The Detour has the teams choosing between Synchronized and Alphabetized. Alphabetized sends them to a library, where they’ll get a list of books (in Russian). They must then search through the card catalog to find the location of the books, find them and grab the books themselves. This seems pretty much impossible to us – and Kim took Russian in college. Synchronized also seems pretty tough, as they have to successfully learn a synchronized swimming routine. James & Abba select Alphabetized because of Abba’s knee troubles. They’ll be joined by Trey & Lexi. The twins and Jaymes & James are headed for the swimming challenge.

James & Abba quickly decide that the library challenge SUCKS. They consider switching to swimming. The Chippendales have arrived at the pool and they look absolutely adorable in their Speedos and swim caps. By the time they are done, we anticipate that they will have hundreds of rubles tucked into their trunks.

The twins, master strategists that they are, debate using their Express Pass. Apparently a narrow margin such as a six-hour time advantage is not enough. We hope they waste it.

The library challenge proves to be Kafka-esque, and we say that about a show that once had a challenge specific to Kafka. The alphabetization is proving all but impossible due to differences in the Cyrillic letters. James & Abba leave for the swimming challenge.

Meanwhile, over at the pool, Natalie and Nadiya are frustrated. Their instructor does not speak English. How dare she! As their irritation grows, we start chanting, “Use the pass! Use the pass!”

Back at the library, Trey & Lexi have found all their books in the catalog. Now, all that is left is to find them on the shelf. The attorney wasn’t detail-oriented enough for this task and had to quit. The Longhorns have figured out that matching symbols is the way to go and are working quite well together. They’re still jerks, but this is an impressive leg for them so far.

Over in the water, the manager of the synchronized team is berating Team Evil Twins in Russian. She informs the ladies that they have “big mistakes.” They once more debate using the Express Pass. Eventually, the ladies decide to do so, but Team Magic Mike attempts to dissuade them. Dudes, if another team wants to do something stupid, LET THEM! They certainly won’t be returning the favor.

Trey & Lexi have successfully discovered all their books, which means that they receive a clue directing them to The Luzhkov Most, which is less most than the last most. There, they will search for the “Trees of Love” to find their next instructions.

The Chippendales score a win at synchronized swimming and are on their way. Over at the Trees of Love, they have to unlock a bunch of locks to try to release an Amazing Race ribbon. Trey is taking the task for his team. There are a lot of weddings happening in their area, which gives Lexi a chance to drop a hint about getting engaged. Poor Trey.

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