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Previously on Survivor, Matsing was dissolved, with Malcolm going to Tandang and the curse of Denise transferred to Kalabaw. Dana swiftly became the first Survivor medevac’d out of the medevac returnee season and Dawson was voted out after Kalabaw predictably lost the immunity challenge despite Probst’s best efforts to call out Katie for being as useful as a garbage bag full of leaves. But hey, at least he got that kiss.

According to Probst, Dawson’s ouster was all due to Jeff Kent, and “when Dawson messed with the bull, she got the horns.” Is this subtext? Is Probst the bull? Because I’ve got news for Dawson – Probst will dump you in a second for his man-crush, baseball MVP Jeff Kent.

Also, I didn’t notice last week but Malcolm spat on his Matsing buff before dropping it to the ground.

Kalabaw returns to camp, and they agree immediately to make it the only time they return to camp from Tribal Council. Sure. Katie speaks! Katie, whose chryon is “former Miss Delaware” like she doesn’t have a job now, interviews that “I’m looking like the weakest link, so I’ve just got to work my magic and see what happens.” Cue lighting strike!

Next morning, Jonathan and Carter go out fishing, leaving Katie and Denise for some girl talk about the hidden immunity idol and pretty much confirm to each other than Jonathan has it. Katie doesn’t trust any of the men and wants to be rid of Jonathan. According to her it is a no-brainer, but that’s because any decision would be Jonathan or her. Denise swings her head in a Minnesota Nice kind of way which means she’s listening, not agreeing.

After the credits, we drop in on Tandang. Michael is suggesting that they cook some rice, but it is running low. According to Pete, this is because Michael is eating it. He has even been helping himself to handfuls of dry rice to eat as a snack, because according to him it will cook in his body, thanks to it being close to 100 degrees in there. Sure Michael. Also, the colder the beer, the more weight you’ll lose!

Malcolm is surprised at how little rice there is left. “What have you been doing?” I think the answer is, winning immunity challenges. Michael’s raw rice fetish aside, Tandang hasn’t sent anyone home, so they have had six members all eating rice. Matsing probably had more rice than they could eat because they had so few people to eat it.

Pete goes on: “Mike makes horrible decisions. He’s the most useless player that’s ever been returned to Survivor and he needs to go home.” I wonder if Pete's interview would be any different if he were on Matsing?

Anyway, Michael wants to cook up a minuscule amount of rice, and Pete and Abi and Artis all say no because after so many days of forced company, they all hate him. Artis can’t believe that as a returning player, Michael does not know that it is important to keep your rice. “He’s eating us out of house and home.” Of course, Artis is forgetting that Michael only made it to Day 17 because he fell in a fire. It’s Day 15 now. “Mike has become expendable,” unnecessaries Artis.

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