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Amazingly, Tracy Spiridakos is the more talented of the Matheson scions. Graham Rogers was a complete unknown prior to Revolution and the world was better for it. Thus far, this kid is a hairdo and very red lips away from having no discernible traits. When I performed a Google Image search for this column, I realized I could not pick him up out of a police lineup. I am so unhappy when he is onscreen that I automatically look down in the same way people avert their gaze from tragedies. I have watched four episodes of Revolution thus far. The only impression Rogers has made is that if he ever experiences a human emotion, the shock of it will kill him.

Yes, Revolution is a show about the Matheson children that has somehow managed to blow the casting of both kids. In less than four hours of viewing, I have grown to dislike Spiridakos so much that if she released the sexiest sex tape ever tomorrow, I would not watch it. The entire time the video plays, I would find myself uncomfortably remembering terrible quotes of hers from Revolution. The stink of failure is that dramatic. Amusingly, nothing else on Revolution is the least bit dramatic.

The intention with Revolution is for Billy Burke to finally fulfill his promise as a lead actor. The Twilight dad has been on the cusp of greatness for a dozen years now. Revolution is unmistakably his big break, Twilight’s massive popularity notwithstanding. Burke is a charismatic actor I enjoy a great deal. Rather than use him effectively, the producers of Revolution have instead given Burke’s character a laconic personality as well as a constant anger about his circumstances. This may or may not be a metaphor about the show.

The one quality Burke’s character, Miles Matheson, does possess is the ability to fight. Yes, Revolution is at least vaguely intended to feature the occasional action sequence. And this is what leads to one of the silliest television scenes ever filmed. A group of military mercenaries shows up at a three-floor building and attempts to imprison Matheson for questioning. Approximately 15 men attempt to accomplish this task.

I should note some aspects of the new physics of Revolution. Gunfire was presumed not to work right up until Miles’ brother, Ben, was shot to death. Guns are apparently difficult to acquire these days, which is odd because musket technology has not been cutting edge for a few centuries now. Several of the members of the militia who attack Miles are armed with swords, as is our hero. One guy has a bow and arrow while another has a rifle.

I do not mean to sound like Sun Tzu but I would be remiss if I did not point out that guns and bows fire projectiles. These travel so quickly that most human beings are innately unable to avoid the bullets and arrows flying at them at tremendous velocity. We know from the earlier scene with Ben that this science still holds. And this begs the question of why 13 of the 15 men charge at Miles rather than, you know, shoot him. In order to throw together a fight scene that establishes Miles has game, the viewer is asked to ignore this thought process.

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