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Jeff

Jeff is a former baseballer who hopes the other players won’t recognise him. Since I have no interest in or understanding of baseball, I’m more likely to recognize him as Alan Ruck. But Jeff is Jeff Kent, who was a pretty big deal in baseball despite me never having heard of him. He was a five-time All-Star, he won the NL MVP in 2000 and he was the all-time leader in home runs as a second-baseman. So good for Jeff.

It’s hard to get a read how Jeff will go on Survivor, because he talks a lot about his baseball career as being the best time of his life. He says that his biggest challenge will be to compete socially - fitting in with the younger people, putting up with the lazy or stupid people and dealing with people he doesn’t like. He says this in a way that implies he won’t be very good at it, but wasn’t he on the same team as Barry Bonds? Jeff seems pretty laid back and easy going, even joking when asked a question about steroids. So he seems well suited for long, tedious games interrupted by brief moments of excitement, like Survivor. And baseball.

Odds of being the Sole Survivor: 1 in 12

Dana

Dana is a 32-year old cosmetologist with a shoulder tattoo who claims to have been watching the show for 11 years. Dana seems to have had a rougher life than the other contestants – growing up in small-town Arkansas, going through rehab – and she comes across as abrupt and determined. She describes herself as observant and generally likeable, which is probably how Lisbeth Salander would describe herself. My first take is that she is going to have trouble relating to the other castaways. Dana’s plan is to keep her opinions to herself as much as possible, and she also notes that she is an alpha female, so I hope she has a Plan B.

Odds of being the Sole Survivor: 1 in 36

Carter

Carter is a 21-year-old Owen Wilson-type from Kansas City, who talks about how he is going to play hard and bring positive energy. He did two audition videos for Survivor, and for the first one the producers said he was Spicoli and Bill & Ted, but for the second, they said he was Tarzan, so it’s a wonder he wasn’t cast last season. He’s working as a track coach, which doesn’t require him to be intelligent, or even talk to anyone who is. He also promises not to call himself Coach – despite being Coach Carter!

Odds of being the Sole Survivor: 1 in 72

Jonathan

Kalabaw’s returning castaway is Jonathan Penner, who was on the white tribe of the uncomfortable Cook Islands season, and came back for Fans vs Favorites, only to be evacuated out due to a knee infection.

Jonathan coming back raises mixed feelings with me, because he’s already had a second chance and doesn’t need to be brought back until he wins, like Boston Rob was. But on the other hand, he has several positive attributes, such as being engaging to watch and his general disdain for Probst. On balance, his cameo appearance in Arrested Development’s first season trumps his being Alan Alda’s voice-twin, so I’m happy to have him back.

According to Jonathan, he wasn’t that focused on winning his first time out, and he came back for a second go to redeem himself so that everyone would stop thinking of him as a bastard. Apparently, he was a possibility to come back for Heroes vs Villains, but he lost his slot due to Russell Hantz. People thought he was a villain? Anyway, this time out, Jonathan is determined to be the winner, and not the biggest character. Then don’t wear that goofy fedora, Jonathan.

Odds of being the Sole Survivor: 1 in 9

Check back tomorrow when I will examine the other two tribes.

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