TiVoPlex

By John Seal

June 11, 2012

You call it a display case, I call it TiVoPlex

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From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 6/12/12

8:05 AM Encore Action
American Ninja V (1993 USA): Nothing starts off a week better than getting to write about one of IMDb’s Bottom 100 films! Granted, American Ninja V barely scrapes in at number 95, but still...that’s quite an accomplishment. And speaking of the Bottom 100, did you know that the coveted number 1 spot is currently held by an animated feature entitled Titanic: The Legend Continues? I’m genuinely surprised, as I’d never previously heard of it. Oh, sure...we all know about Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 and Manos the Hands of Fate, but Titanic: The Legend Continues? Has anyone really seen it? Anyhoo, in American Ninja V (sadly the last of the series to date), hero Joe Kastle (David Bradley) must rescue the kidnapped daughter (Anne Dupont) of a scientist. By happy coincidence, she also happens to be Joe’s girlfriend, so this time it’s personal! Co-starring Pat Morita as (what else?) our hero’s dojo master, this is direct-to-video dreck of the first order. Or last, depending on your perspective.

8:15 PM Showtime 3
Beware (2010 USA): Okay, Beware is also a terrible film (this time of the slasher variety), but here’s the hook (rimshot, please): the killer’s victims are all Menudo fans. Really. Do you dare miss a film in which Menudo fans are gruesomely hacked to pieces by a man in a mask? And did you know that Menudo has featured 33 different members since the "band" started in 1977? You can argue about whether Murray the K or Billy Preston or Jimmy Nicol was the true "fifth Beatle," but will we ever know who was the true fifth Menudo?




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Wednesday 6/13/12

1:50 AM Encore
The Blood of Heroes (1989 AUS-USA): It’s action movie heaven in the TiVoPlex this week! Rutger Hauer headlines The Blood of Heroes, a Mad Max-ripoff featuring the muscular Dutchman as Sallow, a jugger looking for redemption in a world that has experienced an apocalyptic calamity. Yes, we’re talking about a world of bad haircuts (mullets our specialty!), custom vehicles, and lots and lots of dirt and grime. Wait, what’s that? You don’t know what a jugger is? Really? You’ve never played the sport known as jugging? Well, I’ll be. It involves putting animal heads on spikes, and amongst the best juggers are characters played by Vincent D’Onofrio and Joan Chen. Yes, that Joan Chen. The one who was in Wayne Wang’s Dim Sum. Also airs at 4:50 AM.

9:15 PM Turner Classic Movies
And the Pursuit of Happiness (1986 USA): Produced for PBS by director Louis Malle, this documentary takes a look at the 1980s immigrant experience in the United States. Though now over a quarter century old, the film catalogues much that’s still relevant regarding the contentious issue of immigration, including nativism, racism, and concerns about dirty foreigners taking good jobs from God-fearing Americans. The mythic American Dream has, of course, died a slow and ignoble death since this film was made, but back in ’86 it was still driving people to come to the land of opportunity in pursuit of happiness and - if not wealth - a decent living. Malle, of course, was himself an immigrant and a recently naturalized citizen when he made And the Pursuit of Happiness.


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