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We are not exaggerating when we say that this makes Colton the most dangerous player in the game. We saw it last year when John Cochran’s selfishness single-handedly altered the nature of the entire season. One of his betrayed allies aptly summarized that she had wasted a month of her life because of his treachery. Colton now has the opportunity to behave in the same manner, because like Cochran he only cares about himself.

Like clockwork, Colton makes his move. At night while the alpha males are off doing triathlons, he reaches into his bag and reveals the idol to Troyzan (we are never going to like calling him that) and Jonas. The sushi chef proceeds to describe Colton as “ridiculously smart” which makes us sad for him. Anyway, all three gentlemen embark upon a plan to eliminate Matt and Michael, the presumed ringleaders in the Manono alliance. Leif and Tarzan are presumed to join them.

With five players onboard, they very well could take control of the game at the first Tribal Council if Colton receives the votes from the alpha males. His votes would be discarded, meaning that the Weaker Five’s target would be eliminated and they would have a 5-3 advantage from this point forward. As long as none of them flips, they would be in control of the clearly superior tribe. We taste bile as we realize that Colton may be around for a while. Is it too late to get Jim Van Nest to recap this season?

Probst sighting!

The immunity challenge today is sublime in its simplicity. Each team stands on an elongated balance beam in the ocean. One tribe member at a time must attempt to negotiate the narrow walkway by maneuvering through their teammates. The catch is that only one person may come in contact with the player at any point. If a person comes into contact with two other players, they must jump into the water. Last week’s challenge was a dangerous, far reaching course with many elements. This week’s exercise in minimalism is easy to set up but devilishly fiendish to complete.

Kat discovers this the hard way. The women are clearly favored in this challenge since they have a lower center of gravity, but the men have an advantage in the first heat. Leif is the shortest player in the history of the game, which allows him to weave through his teammates in impressive fashion. Kat, on the other hand…well, it’s a disaster. This is legitimately one of the worst performances in an elimination challenge in the history of the show.

Kat fails mentally, she fails physically and she lacks accountability. There is no sugarcoating it. She inexplicably positions herself in front of teammate Monica on the first attempt. Women have boobs on the front of their bodies, so simply by choosing this side of Monica’s body, she makes the task harder. Then, she panics a bit at the second hurdle (i.e. teammate) when Probst announces that Leif has finished his leg. By the time Kat reaches Kim, she is panicking and all but pushes Kim into the water herself. Then, she has to jump in since she touched two people at once while trying to maintain balance.

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