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Thursday 1/19/12

Midnight Showtime Extreme
Bodyguards and Assassins (2009 HK): Xueqi Wang stars in this ahistorical drama about the rise to power of Chinese nationalist hero Sun Yat-sen, who ended the 4,000 year-long reign of the various dynasties we westerners have learned about from hundreds of other Chinese and Hong Kong-lensed features. Wang plays Li, a wealthy entrepreneur tasked with protecting Sun (Hanyu Zhang) from imperial forces eager to keep him as far away from the corridors of power as possible. And how do you do that? By hiring a dirty dozen or so’s worth of bodyguards, including stinky tofu peddler Lau (Leon Lai) and compulsive gambler Sum (Donnie Yen). The story meanders a bit at first, but don’t worry - there’s ass-kicking aplenty in the final few reels as our motley group of heroes face off against the titular assassins. Here’s hoping this epic, two hours plus feature will screen in its original aspect ratio tonight - panning and scanning will render it unwatchable.

3:20 AM HBO Signature
Female on the Beach (1955 USA): Joan Crawford plays Lynn Markham, a widow getting in deep with beach bum Drummond (blonde adonis Jeff Chandler), in this ridiculous, over-the-top, but thoroughly enjoyable potboiler from director Joseph Pevney. Drummond’s previous flame has recently come to a sticky and somewhat suspicious end, but Lynn can’t resist his bronzed good looks and finds herself pulled closer and closer into his orbit. And then there’s those creepily avuncular neighbors, the Sorensons (Cecil Kellaway and Natalie Schafer - a match made in heaven!), who seem a little to eager to get Lynn and Drummond to hook up. One of the campest of all Crawfords, Female on the Beach is hugely entertaining hokum. Shame it's not in Technicolor, though.

Friday 1/20/12

1:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Cameraman: The Life and Work of Jack Cardiff (2010 GB): Years in the making, this documentary finally appeared on TCM earlier this month and repeats tonight. It’s a terrific tribute to the legendary late cinematographer and director, filled to the brim with wonderful clips and even rarer examples of his non-film work. Cameraman is essential viewing for anyone interested in the art of cinema.

11:00 AM The Movie Channel
Death Watch (1980 USA-FRA): I’m not super enthusiastic about this rather long and rather slow Bertrand Tavernier flick, but it does present an interesting and prophetic conceit: the filming in real-time of the decay and ultimate death of a terminally ill woman (Romy Schneider, herself a youthful victim of "cardiac arrest" at the age of 44). Not only that, the filming is done by a man (Harvey Keitel) who’s had a camera installed in his body - shades of Dana Andrews in 1966’s Spy In Your Eye! This is no silly spy caper or goofy sci-fi exercise, however - it’s a deadly serious and highly philosophical exposition on privacy and media. Dull but worthy, Death Watch co-stars Harry Dean Stanton and Max von Sydow.

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