Top Chef: Texas Recap

By David Mumpower

December 26, 2011

Lindsay Lohan thinks Heather is low-class

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After the meal’s completion, the conclusions I can draw are that Malibu Chris, Grayson and Heather are on the bottom while Edward and Sarah are on the top with maybe one other person, probably Beverly but possibly Ty. Sarah seems certain to win the challenge unless Edward’s inventiveness and daring with a vegetarian dish win due to the dish’s degree of difficulty. And if Chris or Grayson does not say anything wrong at Judges Table, Heather is probably going home. Based on last week’s events, Chris is much more likely to do so than Grayson, whose “everything is fine, always” attitude is serving her well.

Grayson, Heather and Malibu Chris are the first people called back to Judges Table. This causes Ty to fret that the top people are always named first. Top Chef trivia buffs know the fallacy of this statement, but it does create unrest among the others. The judges immediately identify the many flaws with their dishes. There are innumerable problems with Chris’ plate, including poorly seared salmon, poor ingredient choices and improper herb size. Death by a thousand paper cuts is a concern for him. Grayson’s straightforward duplication of an early 1990s dish is simply not creative enough for this stage of the competition. And Heather served Bigfoot on a plate. None of the three seems surprised to be on the bottom.




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The top trio are Ed and Sarah as predicted along with Beverly. The fact that Beverly is on the top while Heather is on the bottom is indicative of the fact that the Karma Police are on the case here. The only way that the situation could be better is if Beverly wins tonight while Heather is sent home. The latter seems like a strong possibility, but the judges quickly reveal that the winner tonight is the one whose dish they praised the most. That is unquestionably Sarah. Her Top Chef star is on the rise.

During the grilling of the bottom trio, Tom takes this opportunity to twist the knife a bit in Heather. He points out that unlike Heather, Beverly had the courage to try something new by pressure cooking the meat. He slowly and emphatically uses his eyes and body language to reinforce the point as he says, “And…she’s not here.” Heather has clearly universally pissed off with everyone involved with Top Chef this season. It comes as absolutely no surprise when Padma announces that she should pack her knives and go. A week after demonstrating the least becoming behavior in the show’s history, Heather is eliminated from the competition while the woman she berated, Beverly, has created one of the best three dishes of the challenge. This is the most glorious Top Chef reversal of fortune in recent memory.


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