TiVoPlex
By John Seal
July 11, 2011
11:30 PM HBO Signature
Dieta Mediterranea (2009 ESP): I haven’t seen this Spanish romantic comedy yet, so proceed with appropriate caution. It’s about a woman (Olivia Molina) with aspirations of becoming one of the world’s greatest chefs whilst she also tries to pick the right man. This brief précis sounds quite predictable, but I bet Dieta Mediterranea features some yummy looking food. Of course, that doesn’t help those of us who still have neither Taste-O-Scope nor Smell-O-Vision.
Wednesday 7/13/11
2:40 AM The Movie Channel
The Untold (2002 USA): It’s pretty bad, but how can you overlook a Bigfoot (sorry, "sasquatch") movie starring Lance Henriksen? No, Lance doesn’t play the yeti (sorry, "sasquatch") himself, he plays Harlan Knowles, a powerful industrialist whose daughter has been involved in a plane wreck. Like most powerful industrialists, Harlan has more money than sense, and hires a group of victims - er, adventurers - to go searching for her (or, more likely, her remains). Alas, they instead encounter the Abominable Snowman (sorry, "sasquatch"), a primitive creature with some decidedly bad table manners. Henriksen aside, The Untold is close to unwatchable, but if you’re a fan of gigantopithecus (sorry, "sasquatch") you won’t want to miss it. Also airs at 5:40 AM.
Thursday 7/14/11
12:15 AM Encore Dramatic Stories
Lebanon (2009 ISR): Or Apocalypse Nu, as I prefer to call it. Lebanon tells the tale of an Israeli tank crew during the 1982 invasion of the titular nation, and it’s a bloody, sordid, and claustrophobic story indeed. Those sequestered in the sweltering tank turret include Yigal (Michael Moshonov), the driver who’s convinced his engine is about to break down; Shmulik (Yoav Donat), the gunner who doesn’t always choose to shoot straight; Hertzel (Oshri Cohen), the sanguine ammo loader; and the Colonel Kurtz of the piece, unhinged C.O. Assi (Itay Tiran). Add in a bloodthirsty paratroop officer (Zohar Strauss) and some loony Phalangists and you have a recipe for battlefield disaster. A film fest favorite, Lebanon scooped up prizes around the world and is highly recommended for war movie buffs.
8:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Abbott & Costello Meet the Mummy (1955 USA): It’s been a really, really long time since this A&C feature last aired on TCM (or any other channel, for that matter). Not that it can hold a candle to the comedy team’s better known (and simply better) monster rally tribute, Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein, but you’d think this one would have popped up on Halloween at some point over the last decade. It’s the team’s final big screen outing, and features the boys as hapless treasure hunters stranded in Egypt. When they find out they can earn their passage home by escorting Dr. Zoomer’s (Kurt Katch) mummy back to America, they leap at the opportunity - not realizing until it’s too late that the mummy in question is Klaris (Eddie Parker) and not Mrs. Zoomer. It’s a fairly routine A&C comedy, but has a solid supporting cast, including Marie Windsor, Richard Deacon, and Mel Welles.
Friday 7/15/11
1:35 AM Cinemax
Terror in the Aisles (1984 USA): Ah, the clip show - a venerable stand-by on television, but not quite so common on the big screen. Here’s one of the rare exceptions, a compilation of scary moments from a passel-load of fright flicks of the ‘60s, ‘70s, and ‘80s. It’s hard to believe Terror in the Aisles grossed over $10 million at the box-office in 1984, but home video hadn’t quite peaked and apparently folks were happy to ante up half a sawbuck to see the "good bits" of a bunch of old movies. Donald Pleasence and Nancy Allen are your hosts for this blast from the pre-digital past, which also airs at 4:35 AM.
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