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For people who like gothic romance (which appears to be every woman I know) and are tired of Red Riding Hood: Beastly

Two weeks ago, I ended this column with the following: "Note that this description will largely repeat itself in a couple of weeks with the release of Beastly."

I was speaking of Red Riding Hood, but let’s be honest about the fact that the titles are largely interchangeable. Modern spins on gothic fairy tales are in right now, which is why that dude from I Am Number Four has been uglied up enough to portray a beast. Note that Alex Pettyfer himself is not ugly; this is just Hollywood makeup. Women are just as shallow as men when it comes to great looks, so Pettyfer does look like himself for portions of the film. Then, he develops scars and tattoos and whatnot, making him hot to women in an entirely different.

Effectively, Beastly is a re-telling of the Beauty and the Beast fable that affords the viewer to sexualize Pettyfer and, to a sadly lesser extent, Vanessa Hudgens. The good news if you are unhappy with the amount of sexualization shown by Hudgens’ character is that she does a great job of posting nekkid cellphone pics of herself from time to time; this is quite thoughtful of her. For my part, I watch the movie for Peter Krause, as the BOP favorite from Sports Night portrays a villain in this film. Say what you will about Beastly, but the lead casting is exceptional.

For people who never knew that legendary science fiction writer H.G. Wells is a hot bisexual woman: Warehouse 13 Season Two

I realize that the header above requires some explaining. Bear with me for a moment. Like its SyFy Channel predecessor, Eureka, Warehouse 13 is intended to be a silly distraction of a television series, serial programming that provides quality summer popcorn entertainment. Season two changed that perception somewhat by adding Jaime Murray to the cast. The Dexter antagonist during season two of that program fills the same role on Warehouse 13 with one key difference. She is not quite a whack job. Instead, she is revealed to be the one and only H.G. Wells, who was forced to hide behind the anonymity of a masculine name during the 19th century in order to disguise her sex. Yes, it sounds ridiculous on the surface but Murray is such a tremendous actress that she immediately raised the caliber of the series from disposable to oftentimes engaging.

Toward the end of season two, Wells states an intention to reform and redeem herself, discarding her driving need for revenge upon those who killed her daughter a century before. The reveal of whether she can let go of her thirst for vengeance is remarkably good. I liked Warehouse 13’s first season, primarily due to the character of Claudia, who provides much of the show’s comic relief. The presence of Murray changed my perception of the show as disposable and I sincerely hope that the rumored spinoff for her character comes to fruition.

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