The Calvins: A Ten Year Retrospective

By Reagen Sulewski

February 19, 2011

Oh, baby. You know how to turn us on.

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Calvins tendency seems to be to pick a favorite film and run with it, letting it pile up a number of awards. Below are the most lauded films in Calvins history ($ indicates number of awards won in categories no longer awarded by us):

Six Wins
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Five Wins
Good Night, and Good Luck $
The Queen
The Social Network

Four Wins
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring $$
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers $
Lost in Translation
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King $$
The Dark Knight

Three Wins
The Royal Tenenbaums
About a Boy
The Departed
No Country For Old Men
Up in the Air
Inglourious Basterds


Two Wins
The Bourne Ultimatum
The Hurt Locker
Exit Through the Gift Shop
The Fighter

As much as we enjoy piling on some of our favorite terrible actors, we've in general been decent about spreading out the “wealth." Only a few actors have felt our wrath on multiple occasions. Below are the most frequently mentioned worst performances, with wins in parentheses:

Three Nominations
John Travolta
Mike Myers
Nic Cage

Two Nominations
Megan Fox (2)
Halle Berry (1)
Paul Walker (1)
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Ben Kingsley
Hayden Christensen
Jessica Alba
Shia LaBeouf
Taylor Lautner
Will Farrell

Over the years, we've also had a number of close races – so many so, that to get our attention as being particularly tight, we're not even interested in hearing about it if you're as many as four points out from first place. That's right, we're that heartless. The closest photo-finishes in Calvins history are below:

One Point
2002 Screenplay – Memento vs The Royal Tenenbaums
2004 Worst Performance – Paul Walker (2 Fast 2 Furious) vs Ben Affleck (Daredevil)
2005 Supporting Actress – Virginia Madsen (Sideways) vs Cate Blanchett (The Aviator)
2006 Worst Performance – Kristianna Loken (Bloodrayne) vs Nicolas Cage (The Wicker Man)
2008 Scene – Ratatouille vs Once

Two Points
2005 Worst Performance – Halle Berry (Catwoman) vs Sharon Stone (Catwoman)
2005 Special Effects – Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow vs Spider-Man 2
2007 Music – A Prairie Home Companion vs Children of Men
2010 Actor – George Clooney (Up in the Air) vs Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker)

Three Points
2002 Actor – Gene Hackman (The Royal Tenenbaums) vs Russell Crowe (A Beautiful Mind)
2005 Supporting Actor – Benicio Del Toro (21 Grams) vs Sean Astin (The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers)
2007 TV Show – Battlestar Galactica vs The Office
2008 Worst Performance – Jim Carrey (The Number 23) vs Nicolas Cage (Ghost Rider)
2008 Overlooked Picture – Hot Fuzz vs Once
2009 Screenplay – WALL-E vs In Bruges

We've also had some runaways in our history, with five Calvins winners more than doubling their runner-up's point totals. The most lopsided victories in the Calvins are as follows:

2010 Scene – Up vs The Hangover – 136.54%
2004 Breathrough Performance – Keisha Castle-Hughes (Whale Rider) vs. Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation) - 130.40%
2002 Worst Picture – Planet of the Apes vs Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – 129.00%
2009 Worst Picture – The Happening vs 10,000 B.C. - 113.88%
2007 Supporting Actor – Michael Sheen (The Queen) vs Alan Arkin (Little Miss Sunshine) - 112.50%

Until next year.

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