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9:00 PM Sundance
A Complete History of My Sexual Failures (2009 GB): Perhaps the perfect double bill partner for the missing-in-action ‘70s comedy No Sex Please: We’re British, A Complete History of My Sexual Failures can never be accused of false advertising or mislabeling. It’s a very personal documentary about director Chris Waitt’s unfortunate way with women, and probably guarantees he’ll never, ever enjoy female companionship again. Every unfortunate incident in his love life is detailed in this miserabilist kiss and tell, and your patience for his foibles will probably determine whether or not you enjoy the film.

11:00 PM Fox Movie Channel
The Sitter (1991 USA): Won’t somebody think of the children? This made-for-television thriller stars Kim Myers (Nightmare on Elm Street II, Hellraiser IV) as Nell, a babysitter with a difference….she’s a psychotic killer! This is basically an inferior remake of Don’t Bother to Knock, a 1952 feature starring Marilyn Monroe as a crazed child minder, but is reasonably enjoyable hokum nonetheless. Originally aired on Fox (the television network, not the movie channel), The Sitter also benefits from the unexpected, outre presence of Adolfo Quinones (aka Shabba-Doo from the Breakin’ movies).

Thursday 1/27/11

5:00 AM The Movie Channel
Pontypool (2008 CAN): Is Bruce McDonald's Pontypool the first post-modern horror film? Is it the sort of movie academics will be writing incoherent essays about in the very near future? Or is it just a too clever by half exercise in intellectual futility? I'm not entirely sure, but any time someone makes a spook show that makes me think, I'm more likely to give it three cheers than a chorus of boos. Stephen McHattie is superb as Grant Mazzy, a talk radio host in the middle of nowhere who finds himself on the front-line in the war against a zombie virus spread by the English language. Pontypool relies, appropriately enough, on trenchant and occasionally witty dialogue, whilst the usual trademarks of the zombie apocalypse--gut-munching and bullets to the brain--are almost entirely absent. It's also the only horror film I've ever seen that name checks Roland Barthes, which has to count in its favor. I'm not sure I understood it, but I did enjoy it--a lot. Also airs at 8:00 AM.

3:00 PM Fox Movie Channel
11 Harrowhouse (1974 GB): An outstanding cast overcome an awkward script in this heist thriller helmed by Aram Avakian. Avuncular Charles Grodin headlines as Howard, a small-time diamond merchant looking to move up in the world. Opportunity for said advancement appears when moneybags Clyde Massey (Trevor Howard) extends Howard the offer of a lifetime: get a huge diamond he owns cut to specifications and share in the proceeds. The plan goes awry when the diamond is stolen and Massey turns out to be as much grifter as gazillionaire. As in Avakian’s previous film, Cops and Robbers, 11 Harrowhouse blends crime film conventions with comedy, and though the plot becomes a tad confusing at points is still good fun. Co-starring Candice Bergen, John Gielgud, James Mason, and Peter Vaughan, the film airs again at 7:00 PM.

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