TiVoPlex
By John Seal
January 24, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 1/25/11
1:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Wise Blood (1979 USA): I'm not the biggest fan of this late-period John Huston flick, but I do like me some Flannery O'Connor. Adapted from O’Connor’s novel of the same name, Wise Blood stars Brad Dourif as Hazel Motes, a lad raised in the fire-and-brimstone American South by his fundamentalist grandfather (Huston). After returning from World War II duty, Hazel trades in his Army uniform for pastor's gear and becomes a traveling evangelist, eager to decry the cant and hypocrisy of his fellow man (and his kinfolk) via the newly established Church of Christ Without Christ. Grim, uncompromising, darkly comic, and laden with Southern Gothic imagery, Wise Blood is a hard slog at times and far from your average popcorn flick, but worth a look for Dourif's bravura performance, which, incidentally, I can't help but think informed that of Paul Dano in P.T. Anderson's There Will Be Blood. Watch Wise Blood this morning and let me know what you think.
Wednesday 1/26/11
1:40 PM Showtime Extreme
The Dirty Dozen: The Fatal Mission (1988 USA): Did you know that there were not one, not two, but three sequels to The Dirty Dozen? Neither did I, ‘til now. Best of all, Telly Savalas appeared in three of the four, but played a different character in the final two films than he did in the first! Ernest Borgnine is in all four, but at least he got cast in the same role…anyway, The Fatal Mission was shot in Yugoslavia and sees our heroes do battle with Nazi revanchists determined to fire up the ol’ war machine and kickstart the Fourth Reich. They’ll have to get past schizo Telly first.
5:00 PM Flix
The Times of Harvey Milk (1984 USA): A quarter century before Gus Van Sant brought us Milk (the biopic), this outstanding documentary examined the life of groundbreaking gay politician and activist Harvey Milk. From his closeted years in New York to his relocation to and re-emergence in San Francisco’s Castro District as an out and proud city councilman, The Times of Harvey Milk covers material we’re now quite familiar with, but provides additional proof that Sean Penn’s performance in Van Sant’s film was genuinely Oscar-worthy. Directed by Rob Epstein, whose earlier Word Is Out was a GLBT cinematic landmark, The Times of Harvey Milk won the Best Feature Documentary prize at the 1985 Academy Awards.
8:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Phantom Lady (1944 USA): If you’re in the mood for some first-rate film noir, look no further. Directed by Robert Siodmak and based on a story by tortured genius Cornell Woolrich, Phantom Lady stars Alan Curtis as Scott Henderson, an unhappily married man drowning his sorrows at his local watering hole in the company of a mysterious woman wearing an impressive piece of millinery. The sozzled Scott returns home, only to find that someone has murdered his wife whilst he was out imbibing—and the only person who can provide him an alibi subsequently seems to have disappeared from the face of the Earth. It’s up to loyal secretary Kansas (Ella Raines) to do the necessary legwork and keep her boss away from a date with Old Sparky. Woody Bredell’s atmospheric cinematography is excellent, whilst the fine cast also includes Franchot Tone, Thomas Gomez, and twitchy noir veteran Elisha Cook, Jr.
9:00 PM Sundance
A Complete History of My Sexual Failures (2009 GB): Perhaps the perfect double bill partner for the missing-in-action ‘70s comedy No Sex Please: We’re British, A Complete History of My Sexual Failures can never be accused of false advertising or mislabeling. It’s a very personal documentary about director Chris Waitt’s unfortunate way with women, and probably guarantees he’ll never, ever enjoy female companionship again. Every unfortunate incident in his love life is detailed in this miserabilist kiss and tell, and your patience for his foibles will probably determine whether or not you enjoy the film.
11:00 PM Fox Movie Channel
The Sitter (1991 USA): Won’t somebody think of the children? This made-for-television thriller stars Kim Myers (Nightmare on Elm Street II, Hellraiser IV) as Nell, a babysitter with a difference….she’s a psychotic killer! This is basically an inferior remake of Don’t Bother to Knock, a 1952 feature starring Marilyn Monroe as a crazed child minder, but is reasonably enjoyable hokum nonetheless. Originally aired on Fox (the television network, not the movie channel), The Sitter also benefits from the unexpected, outre presence of Adolfo Quinones (aka Shabba-Doo from the Breakin’ movies).
Thursday 1/27/11
5:00 AM The Movie Channel
Pontypool (2008 CAN): Is Bruce McDonald's Pontypool the first post-modern horror film? Is it the sort of movie academics will be writing incoherent essays about in the very near future? Or is it just a too clever by half exercise in intellectual futility? I'm not entirely sure, but any time someone makes a spook show that makes me think, I'm more likely to give it three cheers than a chorus of boos. Stephen McHattie is superb as Grant Mazzy, a talk radio host in the middle of nowhere who finds himself on the front-line in the war against a zombie virus spread by the English language. Pontypool relies, appropriately enough, on trenchant and occasionally witty dialogue, whilst the usual trademarks of the zombie apocalypse--gut-munching and bullets to the brain--are almost entirely absent. It's also the only horror film I've ever seen that name checks Roland Barthes, which has to count in its favor. I'm not sure I understood it, but I did enjoy it--a lot. Also airs at 8:00 AM.
3:00 PM Fox Movie Channel
11 Harrowhouse (1974 GB): An outstanding cast overcome an awkward script in this heist thriller helmed by Aram Avakian. Avuncular Charles Grodin headlines as Howard, a small-time diamond merchant looking to move up in the world. Opportunity for said advancement appears when moneybags Clyde Massey (Trevor Howard) extends Howard the offer of a lifetime: get a huge diamond he owns cut to specifications and share in the proceeds. The plan goes awry when the diamond is stolen and Massey turns out to be as much grifter as gazillionaire. As in Avakian’s previous film, Cops and Robbers, 11 Harrowhouse blends crime film conventions with comedy, and though the plot becomes a tad confusing at points is still good fun. Co-starring Candice Bergen, John Gielgud, James Mason, and Peter Vaughan, the film airs again at 7:00 PM.
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Man in a Cocked Hat (1959 GB): Originally released in Britain as Carlton-Browne of the F.O., this film was retitled for American consumption—though the new title hardly seems any more explanatory than the old one. If Americans didn’t know that ‘F.O.’ stood for Foreign Office, why would they associate a ‘cocked hat’ with the diplomatic service? The film stars Peter Sellers as Prime Minister of the Ruritanian island nation of Gaillardia (located many miles, I believe, from the Duchy of Grand Fenwick), a remote spot on the map to which Carlton-Browne (Terry-Thomas) has been despatched as ambassador. He finds the island torn between two factions—that of the King (Ian Bannen) and that of the Grand Duke (John le Mesurier)—and also discovers that the PM can’t be trusted as far as he can be thrown. This is minor Sellers, but any film in which he and Terry-Thomas engage in verbal jousting is worth a look. Thorley Walters, Irene Handl, Sam Kydd, and Miles Malleson co-star. Man in a Cocked Hat is followed at 6:45 PM by the far superior Being There (1978), in which Sellers portrays Chance the Gardener, without whom Forrest Gump would otherwise probably not have been possible. Erm, thanks, Peter.
11:00 PM Fox Movie Channel
Deadfall (1968 GB): If your appetite for heist stories was not completely satisfied by 11 Harrowhouse, here’s another, this time starring Michael Caine as a cat burglar out to snatch some rocks. It’s not a terribly good film (and is much too long), but does feature one very impressive Hitchcockian sequence in which Caine’s character tries to pull off the job whilst John Barry (the man who also composed the film’s memorable score) conducts an orchestra in the same building. Though not amongst director Bryan Forbes’ best, Deadfall is worth watching for this sequence alone.
Friday 1/28/11
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Grizzly (1976 USA): All this film needs to recommend it is a recitation of its taglines: ‘18 feet of gut-crunching, man-eating terror!’ ‘Not since JAWS has the terror been like this!’ ‘The most dangerous jaws in the land.’ Yep, William Girdler’s salute to mighty ursus arctos horribilis makes its widescreen television debut tonight, and is not to be missed by anyone interested in exclamation marks and carny-style hyperbole. A second-string cast, including Richard Jaeckel, Christopher George, and Andrew Prine, attempt to stop the creature in his tracks, but it’ll take more than a pic-a-nic basket to halt this smarter than average bear.
Saturday 1/29/11
7:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Crashing Las Vegas (1956 USA): Here’s the film that really marked the beginning of the end for the Bowery Boys. Filmed in the wake of series regular Bernard Gorcey’s (sweet shop mensch Louie) death, Crashing Las Vegas proved too much for Gorcey’s son Leo (Slip Mahoney), who hung up his spurs after completing Crashing Las Vegas and didn’t work again for years. The series soldiered on for another seven episodes headlined by Huntz Hall (Horace Debussy Jones, aka Sach), but the spark was gone. As for this film, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that the gimmick this time involves Sach’s newfound ability to guess which numbers will hit the roulette jackpot.
Sunday 1/30/11
9:45 AM Flix
Across the Tracks (1991 USA): Little Ricky Schroder and Brad Pitt….together for the first (and to date, last) time on the big screen! Now there’s some ballyhoo even Grizzly couldn’t match! Ricky and Brad play dissimilar brothers brought together by competitive running. It’s as exciting as it sounds.
2:15 PM Showtime Extreme
Ed and His Dead Mother (1993 USA): I gave this film short shrift in a recent TiVoPlex column:
“This is the sort of film you wish you could have witnessed the pitch for. “Um, yeah, JB, we have this great concept for a movie: let’s get Steve Buscemi — don’t worry, he’s gonna be a star — to play a guy who loves his deceased mom so much he makes a deal with a traveling salesman to bring her back to life! But she eats bugs and people to stay reanimated and Steve decides he needs Ned Beatty to help him put her back in the grave! You like?” As an added bonus, if you look up this film on IMDb, you’ll see that someone has attached a picture of an Edward R. Murrow documentary to its image file."
Though an encore viewing has not exactly convinced me it’s any kind of comedy classic, Ed and his Dead Mother is a pleasantly droll affair with a well-written script and excellent performances by Beatty, Buscemi, and John Glover as oily re-animator A. J. Pattle. Tune in with expectations suitably low, and you will be pleasantly surprised.
9:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Pandora’s Box (1929 GER): The most beautiful woman who ever lived, Louise Brooks, stars in this magnificent silent classic directed by G.W. Pabst. Brooks plays, of course, Lulu (no, her character is not named Pandora, and YOU have a filthy mind!), a woman with so much sex appeal she drives both men and women mad with desire. Natürlich, she must die for her sins, and she does so in spectacular fashion (spoilers)—at the hands of Jack the Ripper! Having determined that Pandora’s Box is no proto-feminist precursor to Carnal Knowledge, however, I must profess that it remains an incredible film, and not only for the presence of Our Miss Brooks. Also noteworthy is Fritz Kortner as her primary patron, a wealthy newspaper magnate, Alice Roberts as one of the out-er screen lesbians of silent cinema, and the superb expressionist cinematography of Gunther Krampf, who had cut his teeth—so to speak—on F. W. Murnau’s Nosferatu a few years prior. Pandora’s Box is followed at 11:00 PM by 3-Penny Opera (1931), Pabst’s Lotte Lenya-starring adaptation of Bertolt Brecht’s play of the same name.
Monday 1/31/11
2:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Spy in Black (1939 GB): This early collaboration between Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger is a much less ‘arty’ affair than much of their later output, but dare I say is all the better for being so. Sorry, gang…I’m not a big fan of The Red Shoes or Black Narcissus. Here, I’ll climb up on the cross myself…would you like me to hold those nails? Careful, you didn’t get enough accelerant on my feet. What can I say…I’m a philistine who’d rather watch Conrad Veidt play a U-boat captain than Deborah Kerr play a bride of Christ.
2:05 PM Encore Action
Cyborg (1989 USA): Jean-Claude Van Damme kicks bleak future ass in this cartoonish action feature also known as Masters of the Universe 2. Produced by our friends at The Cannon Group, Cyborg may not hit the Himalayan heights of a Black Narcissus, but it does hit lots of bad guys. Repeatedly. In the crotch.
3:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Life at the Top (1965 GB): This forgotten sequel to 1958’s Room at the Top saw Canadian Ted Kotcheff replace Jack Clayton in the director’s chair, whilst star Laurence Harvey returned as working-class lad made good Joe Lampton. Joe’s now married to Susan (Jean Simmons, replacing Heather Sears), the daughter of boss Abe Brown (Donald Wolfit), but finds that class prejudice still runs deep. Though a job and a mistress (Honor Blackman) beckon in the south, Joe’s a northern lad born and bred and prefers to stay close to home—until he discovers Susan is cheating on him, at which point he decides to try his chances in the Big Smoke. Co-starring Allan Cuthbertson, Robert Morley, and Michael Craig, it’s been many moons since Life at the Top graced American television sets, and it’s not available on home video. You know what to do.