This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for November 26, 2010
By Curt David
November 24, 2010
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, Love Actually, Punch-Drunk Love, and 007:From Russia with Love all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (I'm actually not sure the next time I'll go to the cinema...when is your next movie coming out, Freida Pinto?).
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For Thanksgiving Weekend, the new movies in wide release are Burlesque, Faster, Love and Other Drugs, and Tangled.
| Burlesque | Faster | Love and Other Drugs | Tangled | WINNER
(1 point per category)
|
| Clearest Title | "a humorous and provocative stage show featuring bawdy songs and a scantily-clad female chorus" | "to move, operate, function, or take effect more quickly" | "affection for another person" and "additional" "chemical substances" | "snarled, interlaced, mixed up, or very complicated" | Thank you Dictionary.com. For clearest title, Love and Other Drugs scores 1/3 point and Burlesque scores 2/3 point. |
Best Genre
and Rating | Musical:
Rated PG-13 for sexual content, including several suggestive dance routines, partial nudity, language, and some thematic material.
| Action/Thriller:
Rated R for strong violence, drug use, and some language.
| Romantic Comedy:
Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity, pervasive language, and some drug material.
| Animation/Disney:
Rated PG for brief mild violence.
| I don't know if I ever typed the word "musical" in this column before, and who knows when the next non-Pixar Disney film will be, so Burlesque and Tangled split the point. |
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars) | "It takes a LEGEND...to make a STAR"
That is not an appeasing tagline. I think it has to do with Cher or something.
1/5 stars
| "Slow Justice is No Justice"
I like it. Someone is going to be administering their own justice, aka a can of whoop.
3/5 stars
| N/A
No Tagline???
0/5
| "They're taking adventure to new lengths."
Ha. Cause, Rapunzel has long hair.
3/5
| Did I mention that Faster's tagline appears on a poster with the picture of THE ROCK?!?! Faster quickly takes this point. |
| Best Part of Trailer | Perfect trailer, if you like small-town-girl-becomes-star-musical movies. | The Rock is killing everybody! | I laughed once. And I'm in love with Anne Hathaway. | It's a funny take on the Rapunzel story. | Faster came in a close second, but Tangled's trailer is the one that might make me buy the ticket. Point. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Cher, who doesn't seem to have a last name, is known for Sonny & Cher and her Oscar for Moonstruck. | Dwayne Johnson, who doesn't seem to go by The Rock anymore, is known for roles in the Scorpion King, Get Smart, and The Game Plan. | Jake Gyllenhaal from October Sky, Donnie Darko, Brokeback Mountain, and The Day After Tomorrow. | Mandy Moore, voice of Rapunzel, is known for singing and the movies Saved and A Walk to Remember. | Do you smell what The Rock is cooking? He's going to take this point, shine up real nice, turn it sideways, and stick it up your candy....point for Dwayne Johnson. |
| Best Cast | Christina Aguilera, Eric Dane (Grey's Anatomy), Cam Gigandet (Twilight), Julianne Hough (Dancing with the Stars), Alan Cumming (X-Men 2), Peter Gallagher (The O.C.), Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars), and Stanley Tucci (Devil Wears Prada) | Billy Bob Thornton (Sling Blade) and Carla Gugino (Watchmen) | Anne Hathaway (Devil Wears Prada), Oliver Platt (Dr. Dolittle), Hank Azaria (Godzilla), Judy Greer (13 Going on 30), and George Segal (Just Shoot Me), | Other voices: Zachary Levi (Chuck) and Brad Garrett (Everybody Loves Raymond) | Burlesque's cast just gave the People's Elbow to the other movies and easily wins for Best Cast. |
Best Street Cred
For the Production | I feel like Cher and Christina Aguilera and their 5 Grammy's are applicable in this round. | This is not a famous week for directors. I think Dwayne Johnson has this movie's street cred. | Director Edward Zwick has also directed Blood Diamond, The Last Samurai, and Glory. | Music by Alan Menken who also made music for Enchanted, Hercules, Aladdin, Pocahontas, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and The Little Shop of Horrors. | Now THAT'S street cred. Alan Menken gives the Rock Bottom to the competition in this category. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Tangled scored 2 and 1/2 points, Burlesque scores 2 and 1/6 points, Faster scores 2 points, and Love and Other Drugs scores 1/3 point.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like a certain genre, then go see that genre this weekend. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, Tangled is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: There are some beautiful people in Hollywood.
Conclusion 3: It's a small world. Mandy Moore (Tangled) was in The Princess Diaries with Anne Hathaway (Love/Drugs) who was in Get Smart with The Rock (Faster) whose co-star Carla Gugino was in Spy Kids with Alan Cummings (Burlesque) whose costar Stanley Tucci starred with Anne Hathway in Devil Wears Prada.
For the "This Weekend, Watch This" list of the Top 5 Titles, Trailers, Taglines, and Actors so far in 2010...click here.
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