This Weekend, Watch This
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Burlesque | Faster | Love and Other Drugs | Tangled | WINNER (1 point per category) | |
Clearest Title | "a humorous and provocative stage show featuring bawdy songs and a scantily-clad female chorus" | "to move, operate, function, or take effect more quickly" | "affection for another person" and "additional" "chemical substances" | "snarled, interlaced, mixed up, or very complicated" | Thank you Dictionary.com. For clearest title, Love and Other Drugs scores 1/3 point and Burlesque scores 2/3 point. |
Best Genre and Rating | Musical:
Rated PG-13 for sexual content, including several suggestive dance routines, partial nudity, language, and some thematic material. | Action/Thriller:
Rated R for strong violence, drug use, and some language. | Romantic Comedy:
Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity, pervasive language, and some drug material. | Animation/Disney:
Rated PG for brief mild violence. | I don't know if I ever typed the word "musical" in this column before, and who knows when the next non-Pixar Disney film will be, so Burlesque and Tangled split the point. |
Cleverest Tagline (out of 5 stars) | "It takes a LEGEND...to make a STAR"
That is not an appeasing tagline. I think it has to do with Cher or something. 1/5 stars | "Slow Justice is No Justice"
I like it. Someone is going to be administering their own justice, aka a can of whoop. 3/5 stars | N/A
No Tagline??? 0/5 | "They're taking adventure to new lengths."
Ha. Cause, Rapunzel has long hair.
3/5 | Did I mention that Faster's tagline appears on a poster with the picture of THE ROCK?!?! Faster quickly takes this point. |
Best Part of Trailer | Perfect trailer, if you like small-town-girl-becomes-star-musical movies. | The Rock is killing everybody! | I laughed once. And I'm in love with Anne Hathaway. | It's a funny take on the Rapunzel story. | Faster came in a close second, but Tangled's trailer is the one that might make me buy the ticket. Point. |
Coolest Lead Actor | Cher, who doesn't seem to have a last name, is known for Sonny & Cher and her Oscar for Moonstruck. | Dwayne Johnson, who doesn't seem to go by The Rock anymore, is known for roles in the Scorpion King, Get Smart, and The Game Plan. | Jake Gyllenhaal from October Sky, Donnie Darko, Brokeback Mountain, and The Day After Tomorrow. | Mandy Moore, voice of Rapunzel, is known for singing and the movies Saved and A Walk to Remember. | Do you smell what The Rock is cooking? He's going to take this point, shine up real nice, turn it sideways, and stick it up your candy....point for Dwayne Johnson. |
Best Cast | Christina Aguilera, Eric Dane (Grey's Anatomy), Cam Gigandet (Twilight), Julianne Hough (Dancing with the Stars), Alan Cumming (X-Men 2), Peter Gallagher (The O.C.), Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars), and Stanley Tucci (Devil Wears Prada) | Billy Bob Thornton (Sling Blade) and Carla Gugino (Watchmen) | Anne Hathaway (Devil Wears Prada), Oliver Platt (Dr. Dolittle), Hank Azaria (Godzilla), Judy Greer (13 Going on 30), and George Segal (Just Shoot Me), | Other voices: Zachary Levi (Chuck) and Brad Garrett (Everybody Loves Raymond) | Burlesque's cast just gave the People's Elbow to the other movies and easily wins for Best Cast. |
Best Street Cred For the Production | I feel like Cher and Christina Aguilera and their 5 Grammy's are applicable in this round. | This is not a famous week for directors. I think Dwayne Johnson has this movie's street cred. | Director Edward Zwick has also directed Blood Diamond, The Last Samurai, and Glory. | Music by Alan Menken who also made music for Enchanted, Hercules, Aladdin, Pocahontas, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and The Little Shop of Horrors. | Now THAT'S street cred. Alan Menken gives the Rock Bottom to the competition in this category. |