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Previously on Top Chef, Leon Panetta had an emergency and we were very, very scared. We presume that Sydney Bristow jumped in to save the day. God bless her slutty outfits and sensational wigs. Also, Alex is gone. There was much rejoicing. Seriously, though, this season has not put the “Top” in Top Chef. If we can get rid of Amanda this week, at least all of the remaining chefs are people who we’d let make us a burger.

Tonight’s episode starts with Ed doing his Tyler Perry impersonation (for some reason). He’s wearing a tank dress, and let us tell you, it is not pretty. He just doesn’t have the chest for it…and what we mean by that is that he does have the boobs. He’s just way too hairy. Tiffany is trying to pretend she’s not all hot and bothered, and protests that he’s gross. We have no idea whether this is a regular thing or not. There’s absolutely no context given. If it makes Ed happy, we’re more than okay with it. Seriously, a little manscaping would be helpful, though.

The episode again reminds people that Amanda’s peers do not respect her. Also, we’re seeing Angelo start to fall apart under the pressure. His recent failures have definitely gotten to him, and it resembles Hosea’s breakdown a couple of seasons ago (before he pulled himself together and won the whole thing). Amanda tells us that the dude reads Anthony Robbins books, so perhaps he’ll “power of positive thinking” himself to the finish line.

Today’s guest judge for the Quickfire is Rick Moonen (ick), two-time contestant on Top Chef Masters. Padma shows them signs with phrases like “Don’t spill the beans,” “Sour grapes” and “big cheese.” She asks te chefs if they see a trend. Not only do they not see a trend, but when tells them that today’s challenge is all about “idioms,” we’re pretty sure they don’t know what they word means. Angelo looks like he’s trying to figure out how to cook fried idiom, in fact. As an afterthought, Padma mentions that the food will go into Schwans’ repertoire of home delivery frozen food.

Ed creates a “Hot Potato” gnocchi, which Padma calls lovely. For “Spill the Beans”, Tiffany creates a pan-seared cod over stewed beans. Because Moonen is a big fish expert, she really wants to impress him by doing something right in his wheelhouse. He says it is interesting.

Meanwhile, Kevin “Brings Home the Bacon” by making it three ways. Now we’re talking. Rick seems to think the flavors and aroma are distinct, though it’s not clear whether that’s good or bad. Kelly’s “Sour Grapes” pairs a red grape sauce with a pan-roasted chicken breast. It seems awfully basic. We get another “interesting” comment from Rick,

Angelo has “Bigger Fish to Fry” and has made a chili crusted tilapia satay with Asian tartar sauce, sambal and sriracha. Again, we have a seafood dish, but Rick doesn’t say much about this one.

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