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Julie Chen: “The last houseguest standing on the edge of a giant paint can wins Head of Household.”

And that, my friends, is just one of the many, many absurd things you can only hear on Big Brother.

Actually, this summer, more than ever before, the challenges just seem to be so… weird. And dangerous. Britney nearly injured herself in the one that opened the season (you know, when the houseguests had to jump onto giant wieners – looooong story). Weeks later, she nearly choked to death after securing herself to a rotating platform with tape.

This time around, the remaining contestants stood on the outside of a giant paint can while paintbrushes smacked them in their faces and guns plastered their poor faces, clothes, even nostrils with paint. So, tamer… but still.

Ragan said, rightfully, that “Big Brother is getting [his] laundry bill.” He also joked that the contest left him with many a Stevie Wonder moment. The paint not only blinded him, but left him thinking, “What… is going on?”

First to exit the competish, after Kathy of course, was surprisingly Brendon. Rachel took the news a bit harder than I expected. She figured that with the loss she and Brendon would be one step closer to digging their own graves.

It’s funny when you take a look at the situation out of context. She’d mad, really, because her boy toy couldn’t remain on a giant paint can long enough to ensure his safety within a house full of idiots. It just doesn’t add up.

After the competition, which Matt ended up winning, Rachel and Brendon got into their customary fight. I feel like this kind of thing has been instituted as a standard within the halls of the Big Brother editing room.

Up in Matt’s HoH room, the houseguests – save for Brachel – were having a gay ol’ time making fun of, you guessed it, Brachel. All this required was being exaggeratingly ecstatic over the things in Matt’s room. Said Britney: “We were trying to act like ridiculous versions of Rachel. … And she just didn’t get it.”

We also learned that the houseguests developed a game called Trapped. Basically, the game’s lone rule is to never be left in a room with Brachel. Otherwise, you’re Trapped. (Get it?!). Speaking on behalf of the house, Britney proclaimed that the last place any of ‘em ever wanted to be – on earth – is trapped in a room with Brachel. Shame.

In other news, Big Brother brought back Pandora’s Box, and current HoH Matt accepted the offer. For opening the box – or in Big Brother’s case, a door – Matt earned the Diamond Power of Veto, which is basically the fancy pants way of saying he can’t be evicted for the next two weeks.

Because of Matt’s greed, a consequence was bestowed on the house in a brand new Saboteur. Ragan was chosen by America to fill the Saboteur’s shoes and he, too, accepted.

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