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Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Another staple of American films from the past are teen comedies. John Hughes, as you all are aware, made the teen comedy as iconic as the war movie, the musical, or the Western. He brought us relatable characters, realistic situations, wild humor, and memorable music. That is, of course, the opinion held by many people. I am not one of them. That said, I am aware that these films are juggernauts of their kind, iconic to so many generations. How many yearbook quotes are from a Hughes movie? Probably my favorite - though not a perfect film by any means - is the 1986 comedy Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Ferris Bueller has some of the most iconic lines and moments, but we need to put it in 3-D for its 25th anniversary next year. This will be the movie to prove that 3-D works all the time.

The massive crowd scene in Chicago as Ferris sings Twist and Shout, the dramatic scene when Cameron trashes his dad’s precious convertible, Ben Stein constantly asking for Bueller… these are tailor-made to blow audiences away. We all want to go to Pandora, but if we can see Chicago look as vivid and colorful, then we’ll be as in love with Abe Froman, the sausage king of Chicago as we are with Jake Sully. (Ponder for a second how weird I feel to know both of those names without looking them up.) Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is already a great romp of the teen genre, but you put it in 3-D, open it up to generations young and old, and you have a breakaway 3-D hit. Who knows, The Breakfast Club or Some Kind of Wonderful could get the treatment next if this works!

Forrest Gump

I can see it already. As the credits roll, coming out of the screen like the great 3-D effects, what should join them? The feather! You know what I’m talking about, folks! The feather that, like Forrest Gump himself, ambles along and lets things happen to it, no matter the cost. That feather would soar out of the skies, right into our glasses, and back into our hearts. I know, I know: you think I’m being a touch sarcastic here, but think of all the great publicity that could come from this movie being released again. We’ll wait, of course, until 2014, when the movie hits its 20th anniversary, just to be timely. Though he’s not in as many movies as he used to be, there’s no question that Tom Hanks remains one of the great American actors of his generation (and that is one of the few things I say this week with pure sincerity).

So why not have Hanks be rediscovered by a younger generation? I was just under ten-years-old when Forrest Gump was released, but there are kids who weren’t even born then who need to watch this movie! How else are they going to learn about the 1960s? We need to teach these kids about Woodstock, Vietnam, war protests, jogging, and many other zeitgeist-y elements of the Baby Boomer generation? Where are they going to learn about those things, a history book? I think not. A 144-minute whimsical drama that glosses over and idealizes most of those stories is best, and best watched with 3-D glasses on! And don’t worry, I haven’t left out the other parts of the movie that are going to be awesome in 3-D: the battle scenes in Vietnam, Robin Wright dancing in front of leering louts, and all that damn shrimp. 3-D shrimp! Let’s get on it!

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