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Following a ho-hum Thursday premiere, Big Brother returned to form by airing three new episodes over the course of the week.

Per Big Brother custom, it opened with one of the houseguests rehashing news we learned in a previous episode. Having known that one of the season’s 13 houseguests was actually playing the game as a saboteur, Rachel made sure everyone (or just her) was on the same page by saying, “Someone has to be in here that did it.”

A mini witch hunt commenced, in which the contestants threw out possible saboteur suspects. Some thought it was Andrew, because he declined to play in the first Head of Household competition. Others thought Brendon, because he went to go brush his teeth when the lights turned out.

As for me? I don’t really care. I just think pretty boy Hayden needs a haircut. He looks like a schmuck.

Speaking of Hayden, he led the train to his bedroom since he was the week’s HoH. The houseguests didn’t have much to say about the way it was decorated, save for Ragan, who said he felt more secure about Hayden as HoH because his photos were more conservative than expected and didn’t feature him shirtless.

Annie, Brendon and Rachel chillaxed on the outdoor hammock. Rachel grinned ear to ear while talking to Brendon and reverted to full valley girl mode when she learned that Brendon, like her, enjoys science.

Rachel: “When Brendon told me he was a physicist, I literally wanted to just like jump his bones. I was like, ‘oh my god.’ Like I literally just fell in love with this kid.”

In a talking head, Brendon revealed that he’s really attracted to Rachel, and that he thinks she’s really smart and more than the big, bubbly boobed girl from Las Vegas. Brendon, you had me at smart.

Back on the hammock, they exchange everything but vows, making Annie uncomfortable.

Annie: “I felt very awkward. Like I was watching my parents have sex. I mean it was something that I don’t want to be a part of. … I was literally the cream to the scientific cookie.”

Hayden and Italian/Jersey kid Enzo bonded over keeping in shape, muscles and other manly stuff. In a talking head, Enzo talked about how you’ve got to go to the guy in charge when starting a mafia. He’s a walking stereotype, and I love it.

Eventually, he, Hayden, Lane and Matt (Enzo calls him Mattie) formed an alliance called the Brigade. They also, thanks to Enzo, got nicknames. (Enzo: “I want to nickname the team. I want nicknames for everybody.”) Lane is the beast, Hayden the animal and Mattie the brains. Enzo? He’s… the meow meow? The jury’s still out on what that means.

In a talking head, Lane said he doesn’t know whether Enzo is from New Jersey or Philly. That’s about right.

The houseguests play a game to determine who would be the have-nots for the week. In it, the contestants had to jump into a pool of caramel, then jump into a gigantic bin of popcorn. In the popcorn were teeth, which needed to be collected and carried to the other side of the yard.

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