By Michael Lynderey
May 24, 2010
Now, aside from the above, there actually haven't been quite that many reboots being announced lately (sadly), but Disney has just scheduled something called Reboot Ralph for release on March 22, 2013. Could Reboot Ralph possibly be some kind of highly sophisticated robot sent from the future to help usher in the apocalypse by remaking the films of the past? Like a particularly mal-intentioned WALL•E?
I think so. But I won't keep you waiting any longer. Here is the latest collection of the sequel news that rained down my way lately - a batch that's decidedly less outrageous than usual, and more tinted with release dates and mild casting bits than anything particularly offensive:
- Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2: Rodrick Rules - I know everyone reading this column is just shivering in anticipation for this one, and now I can say: you won't have to wait long. March 25, 2011 is the date for the sequel, with filming almost certainly getting underway this summer. Part 3 won't be long either, I think.
Final Destination 5 - This one's now got a date: August 26, 2011, almost two years to the day of the last film, and in the same dimension, too.
Journey to the Center of the Earth 2 - Awkward title, ain't it? September 23, 2011 is now the destination for this particular thrill-ride. Brendan Fraser and Josh Hutcherson - you know, the stars of the first movie - may or may not be back, but you know for sure what will be back from the first film: the 3D.
New Year's Eve - Anyone remember New Year's Evil, the horror movie? The one where it turned out that the creep who was stalking her was actually - d'oh! - her husband, and he didn't even really want a divorce? Well, this isn't that. This is that (thematic?) follow-up to He's Just Not That Into You and Valentine's Day, with the gameplan calling for yet another unrestrainable number of movie stars to frolic about the screen. No, there's no casting quite yet (that ought to take up a couple of columns), but there is a release date: December 9, 2011, just in time for some holiday legs. Smart.
The Nutty Professor 3 - Eddie Murphy has used the occasion of the latest Shrek film's release to issue repeated threats about making yet another fat suit extravaganza. Not one to ever take Murphy's word lightly, I repeat said threat here, and note that I and the proper authorities are taking it very seriously indeed.
Rise of the Apes - That Planet of the Apes prequel that's coming our way June '11 has just acquired a (human) star: James Franco. Cool?
Universal Soldier IV - Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren will evidently be back, in all the glory that 3-D will have to offer them. And if you've read this far, you may actually be one of the few who'll find that particular piece of news to be interesting, enlightening, heart-warming, heart-rending, sad, funny, audacious, or perhaps just plain dull. Anything will do.