A-List: Great Bad Movies

By Josh Spiegel

May 13, 2010

I'd say yes, Mr. Willis, but you're like 80.

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Most bad movies aren’t worth watching more than once. The movie’s bad; why would you want to relive the experience? Sometimes, however, a movie comes out and is so uniquely, singularly terrible that you don’t just want to watch it again, but you need to watch it again, with a lot of your friends, and probably a healthy dose of booze. It was with this in mind, and a certain movie on this list that involves Julianne Moore and nefarious aliens (is there another kind?), that I embarked on a bad movie marathon a few months ago, and discovered the first movie on this week’s A-List. But more about that movie in a minute. This week’s A-List, indeed, is about great bad movies. There aren’t many of them, because it’s so hard to quantify what makes a bad movie more than just bad. Sometimes, it’s an issue of performance; sometimes, it’s an issue of direction; sometimes, it’s the script.

Each of the five movies on this week’s list all encapsulate some or all elements of a great bad movie. These are movies that you’ll laugh at more than an honest-to-goodness comedy. One thing that makes a great bad movie so great is that the people behind it will usually never own up to it being terrible. They may agree with your assessment, but they’re smart enough to never acknowledge the film’s lack of quality, and with good reason; movies that set out to be cheesy may be so, but they’re not memorable. One of the films on this week’s list breaks this rule, but if you’ve seen it, you’ll know why I had to include it. Some movies are too good—or bad—to pass up. These movies aren’t brilliant, but they’re worth your time if you’re in the right mood. Let’s get to the list.




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Sweet November

It’s only been a couple of months since my life changed, readers. Why did my life change? Because I finally saw Sweet November, the 2001 remake of the 1968 film of the same name. This movie isn’t as well-loved in the bad movie community, but I would like to spearhead a campaign to get this movie shown as frequently as a certain other film on this list. The plot is simple: Keanu Reeves plays Nelson, a workaholic adman who foregoes a relationship with Lauren Graham for his work. However, he gets fired from his job after a disastrous day and a run-in with a flighty yet independent spirit named Sara (Charlize Theron). Sara convinces Nelson to live with her for one month, so she can change his ways and make him a better person. Do you think they might fall in love? Is the Pope Catholic?

So what makes this movie so bad? What if I told you that there is a lengthy sequence wherein Nelson and Sara watch a little boy work a remote-control tugboat in a race by a pier? What if I told you that Jason Isaacs and Michael Rosenbaum (a.k.a. Lucius Malfoy and Lex Luthor) play a gay couple who live underneath Sara’s apartment? What if I told you that Nelson’s catastrophic pitch involves a hot dog being used in very sexual ways? I could go on. This movie is so sentimental, so saccharine, so cloying, and so damn silly (did I mention that a climactic scene involves Nelson climbing up Sara’s apartment building with a dishwasher?) that I couldn’t help but laugh. What makes this movie so damn terrible is that the movie genuinely wants to be good, and fails so spectacularly. If you want a good laugh, watch it.


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