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Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains Recap

Banana Etiquette

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

March 23, 2010

James was also eliminated but Tyson was such a dumbass that we wanted to give him solo billing.

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Previously on Survivor, Ali Faroukmanesh buried a three-pointer to eliminate Kansas from the NCAA tournament. Okay, that wasn't Survivor, but it's been two weeks, and we've moved on to other shiny things. Has Boston Rob won this thing yet?

This week's quick recap reminds us that the Heroes just made one of the dumbest elimination choices in the history of the game. They elected to vote out Tom, who is healthy and useful around camp, rather than James, who is lame (literally - he can't walk) and full of bad attitude. Meanwhile, we've been promised an impending Evil Loser Russell versus Boston Rob showdown, which may be a bit misleading. We do believe that the Villains' ease in eliminating the heroes jeopardizes Rob's safety. As we said at the beginning of this thing, his tribe would be crazy to keep him around any longer than he is needed, and that need is greatly diminished. Then again, Rob is fun to be around, and ELR is a tiny, bald ball of rage and misogyny.

Punctuating this is a discussion between Rob and Evil Loser Russell. They are first ones up in their camp (or last ones awake, it's hard to tell), and ELR decides to have a man-to-man talk with Rob, which we think is overstating ELR's masculinity. In Evil Loser Russell's mind, the two of them are the big alpha males, titans about to clash. Rob doesn't see the need to release the Kraken just yet. Why? He thinks ELR is a fraud, and points out that everyone on the tribe has it in for him since he went looking for the hidden immunity idol after they agreed not to. Realizing the best approach is to implant some vague boogeyman in ELR's head, Boston Rob says he's "not going to rat anyone out," but they've all heard about Russell's shenanigans. They both tell each other to watch their backs, and Rob dismisses ELR by sardonically saying, "Good talk" as he leaves with nary a look back.




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Probst sighting! He reveals a surprise to the Heroes and Villains. Today's challenge will be for individual immunity, one winner for each tribe. Those two people will not be eliminated in the two tribal councils that will take place tonight, and will also compete for reward for their respective teams. The winner gets their tribe a hot dog dinner and the opportunity to watch the tribal council of the opposition. Previously, Tyson, JT and Coach did this challenge in their season, with Tyson beating JT in the finals. Smaller, more lithe individuals do seem to have an advantage. Let's see if that theory holds true this time around.

The Heroes compete against each other first, with Candice, JT and James acquitting themselves admirably. We even cringe a couple of times at the way James contorts his injured knee during the challenge. Eventually, Candice pulls out the win, which is grim news for Colby. Feel free to mock us later if we're wrong, but we foresee no circumstance where he survives the next vote. (Then again, we wouldn't have voted off Tom last time, either.)


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