By Michael Lynderey
March 16, 2010
* Indiana Jones 5 - Harrison Ford now says there's a storyline ready for Indy 5, which I suppose means it already has at least one thing going for it that Indiana Jones 4 did not (I kid, I kid. I actually really liked Indy 4 - but I have angry constituents to please!).
* Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps - Pushed back from April 23 to September 24. Why, I don't know. Let's hope it's because they need extra time to add more black-and-white flashbacks to random events in American history (that's a joke only hard-core Oliver Stone fans may get, but I didn't hesitate to make it, anyway).
* Wolverine 2 - Hugh Jackman will be back for more fun in the prequel sun, this time set in and around Japan, a location that ought to give this follow-up some juice (at least in theory). A mutant claw vs. samurai sword scene is all but inevitable. Filming is scheduled for January, with the release date wobbling around between the two weekends in 2011 that don't already have a comic book movie or two scheduled for release.
A reboot, then?
More reboots are coming in from the cold of development hell, and as always, I'm all too happy to note their arrival, with a dutifully disapproving look on my face (note: some of these can also convincingly pass as sequels, so please, no detailed, angry letters explaining the difference).
* Conan - The real one, not that red-haired fella off the TV. It's a reboot, yes, and it's finally getting into filming this month, with Baywatch and Stargate's Jason Momoa in the lead. It's hard to pinpoint the tentpole potential of this: Conan was never that big a franchise, and this is from Lionsgate - not a studio known for $100 million earners, at least not yet. But this thing does have some entertaining character actors lined up: Ron Perlman, as Conie's father, and newly-minted villain-du-jour Stephen Lang (Col. Quaritch of Avatar), who may end up as prolific a baddie in these early years of the 2010s as Christoph Waltz is shaping up to be.
* Fright Night / Pet Sematary - '80s horror film territory is slowly but surely being re-colonized, with Craig Gillespie (of Lars and the Real Girl) now attached to remake the former film, while Paramount's just announced some early work on a redo of the latter. Guys, here's an idea - change the titles, but then just remake the movies anyway. Sure, it's a technicality, but no one will notice that way. Not any more than usual.
* Police Academy - Yes, really. Courtesy of New Line Cinema. I'm sorry, but I just can't think of a joke that would be good enough to cover this one. I have failed you all.
* Superman - Christopher Nolan will oversee and produce another entry, with David S. Goyer scripting. Well, rebooting Superman sure does sound like a good idea, right? After all, what could go wrong?
Elsewhere, biopics are rearing their heads. Proving that '60s period pieces may well never go out of style, Matt Damon will play Robert F. Kennedy in a yet-untitled film (too bad "Bobby" was already taken), while Oren Moverman - director/writer of The Messenger - will tackle Kurt Cobain, Clint Eastwood will helm the life of J. Edgar Hoover, Robert De Niro will play football coach Vince Lombardi, and Viggo Mortensen will star as none other than Sigmund Freud himself. On the other side of the gender divide, Darren Star will direct the life of Anita Bryant, the country singer and activist (she was that lady who kept popping up in the stock footage in Milk).
It all makes you wanna stand up and say - fellas, fellas, fellas, slow down with these! There aren't nearly enough Oscars to give out to all of you.