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Previously on Survivor, 20 contestants semi-triumphantly returned to the show, and we were happy to see almost half of them. The tribes were immediately split into Heroes and Villains, with Cirie and Boston Rob both being miscategorized. What followed was a taut two hours of television, featuring a group of people who clearly do not like each other. The Heroes won the first challenge, while suffering only two broken bones. Then, the Villains attained their revenge by winning the vastly more important Immunity Challenge, overcoming a monumental lead in the process. This caused Sugar to be voted out, breaking our hearts, but also leading to one of the funniest tweets we've ever seen. Sugar claimed that JT loved her and left her - and we do mean physically.

If the advertising is to be believed, tonight's show promises to see Boston Rob suffer a fatal accident and his corpse cooked and eaten by his tribemates. Keep in mind that they are villains, folks.

Tonight's episode picks up with what had been hinted at last week. As we'd predicted, Boston Rob is the only worker on his tribe, and that means when night falls and rainstorms arrive, their shelter is lacking. This causes nine members of the tribe to bitch and moan about the impossible conditions, while the tenth party, Mariano, sneers at them all in disgust. It's evident that he's tried to have the conversation about causality with them more than once, and that he might as well have been trying to teach ancient Latin to apes. Rob humorously points out that for the third consecutive appearance, he's on the buffoon tribe. The difference this time is that he should have seen it coming. In fact, we find ourselves speculating whether they had to transpose Cirie and Rob to make sure that at least someone on the Villains tribe was capable of sustaining the lives of the others.

Jerri Manthey and Coach, the official reality show couple of the #1 film in America this week, Valentine's Day, spend the next morning discussing climate conditions and camp discomforts. Coach cannot stop smiling at her.

A hilarious edit follows wherein the 90% of the Villains who are not Boston Rob grudgingly attempt to build a shelter. Randy describes the creative process as not unlike Windows, in that the first edition was good, while the rest subsequently depreciated in quality. They appear to be currently on what could be described as the Millennium Edition. We hope they get to Vista soon.

As Rob attempts to build a fort, Parvati hearkens back to her many years of experience in construction (hey, walking in a building counts as building a building!) as Evil Loser Russe, er, Whatshisname points out that all of the filthy apple eaters should stop talking while the men are working. Rob eventually gets frustrated and walks away, much to the chagrin of Courtney. She may be evil, but she's still a pragmatist. She appreciates that if Boston Rob stops trying, PEOPLE WILL DIE! Seriously, do we know for a fact that the Villains returned home? Is this another Roanoke colony situation developing?

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