This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison of the new releases for Nov. 20th, 2009

By Curt David

November 20, 2009

A team of monks politely looks away as Kristen Stewart realizes she has a flat tire in her implant

New at BOP:
Share & Save
Digg Button  
Print this column
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, Brokeback Mountain, The Hills Have Eyes, and Cliffhanger all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (Dear Catherine Zeta-Jones, I have seen 25 of your 30 listed movies on IMDb)

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of November 20th, the movies opening in wide release are: The Blind Side, Planet 51, and The Twilight Saga: New Moon.


The Blind SidePlanet 51 The Twilight Saga: New MoonWinner
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitlePerhaps a thriller about driving in people's blindspots? "Someone is following us!" "But I can't see anyone in the rearview mirror!" Perhaps a cartoon about the lives of a bunch of planets. "Where is Planet 51? I think he ate all of my MARShmallows!" Perhaps a movie based on the second Twilight novel. "I think I love you, Mr. Vampire with disheveled hair. But I also have feelings for a werewolf!"* New Moon has the clearest title and the point.
Best Genre
& Rating
Sports Drama
PG-13
Sci-Fi Animation
PG
Fantasy Drama
PG-13
Fantasy Drama PG-13 Hmmmm? Sports dramas aren't the most frequent things. Blind Side gets a point.
Best TaglineBased on the extraordinary true story Something strange is coming to their planet...us! The next chapter begins. Only one of these sentences isn't boring as all get out. Point for Planet 51.
Best Part of TrailerSandra Bullock looks incredible! As an actress. And as a woman. Cute concept about aliens afraid of human invaders. Surprisingly humorous. Shoot. The official trailer looks better then the commercials. Well played, Twilight folks. I'm not officially admitting this, but the winning trailer may or may not have brought a tear to my eye. I also may have watched it a second time. Point for The Blind Side.
Lead ActorSandra Bullock, from Speed, is allergic to horses. Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock from the WWE, is of African-Canadian and Samoan descent. Kristen Stewart (from Panic Room, Into the Wild, and Twilight) has a cat named Jella. Not because I'm lazy, but because I really like all three performers...each movie gets 1/3 of a point.
Best Cast MemberThe Southern accent of Tim McGraw. The British accent of John Cleese.The abs of Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson. I think watching New Moon will give me a poor self-image complex. Tim's pretty cool, but John Cleese gets the point.
Best Street Cred
for the Production
This movie is based on Michael Oher, now a Baltimore Ravens football player. Joe Stillman has also written the little-known movies Shrek and Shrek2. Stephenie Meyer is the writer of the little-known novel Twilight. Michael Oher easily gets the point for the coolest person.



*I'm sorry if that Twilight quote was plagarized from the book or the movie. I have honestly never read any of the books or seen either of the movies....that's just my guess at the plot.

So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Blind Side scores 3 1/3 points, Planet 51 scores 2 1/3 points, and New Moon scores 1 1/3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if the words "New Moon" sound like your type of movie, go for it. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, The Blind Side is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: This is my eighth consecutive column. I have written about the past 22 movies to be released into theaters. Up until now, researching a movie has not led me to actually buy a movie ticket. However, this weekend I will be watching The Blind Side.
Conclusion 3: I'm also not officially admitting this, but I may or may not like the romantic comedies Miss Congeniality and While You Were Sleeping.



Advertisement


     


 
 

Need to contact us? E-mail a Box Office Prophet.
Thursday, March 28, 2024
© 2024 Box Office Prophets, a division of One Of Us, Inc.