Take Five

By George Rose

October 21, 2009

But they can't even see her boobs like we can!

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Well, that's not entirely true. I guess there are other times cross dressing is necessary. In Some Like it Hot, two musicians (Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis) must join an all-female band after they witness a mob hit. Naturally, the only way to go into hiding in an all-female band is to cross dress. Hilarity and love ensue. You'd think the situation would be too distracting for a man to find time for love, while dressed as a woman, but when one of those women is Marilyn Monroe (!!!) I guess it starts to make sense. The movie earned six Oscar nominations and was one of the first Marilyn movies I had ever seen. You don't need to be a straight man to appreciate the beauty and sex appeal of Ms. Monroe. Though she wasn't nominated for any awards, she still lights up the screen with her voice and humor, both of which the movie has plenty of. Hmmm, maybe that's the costume idea I've been looking for. Heck, I already have the blonde wig. Anyone have a white dress I can borrow?


Ladybugs (1992)

I'm pretty sure those that have Marilyn's infamous white dress are wearing it themselves. It's not like it's a dress you'd wear to the mall. While it would be totally Mel Gibson of me to be someone who dislikes the notion of people being prejudiced towards my ONE Halloween of cross dressing, only to later make fun of those that decide to do it, I'm 99.9% sure I'm not dressing as a woman this year. But for those of you that decide to do it, here is one idea that might be more manageable and financially responsible: dress as a female soccer player. It's basically the same thing as dressing as a male soccer player, which you probably already have the outfit for. All you need to do is throw on a wig and POOF, you're transformed. If you need a visual aid or would like to know what hilarious drama you can find yourself in as a result, check out Ladybugs.

The late and great Rodney Dangerfield stars as a corporate buffoon trying to work his way up the company ladder. In order to impress his boss, he decides to volunteer for the coaching position of the company's all girl soccer team. Since he fears he won't get a promotion if the team doesn't do well, he enlists the help of his fiancée's son. This is a terrible idea from the start and only gets worse when the young man finds himself falling for his uncle's boss's daughter. While this cross dressing feature is far less worthy of any Oscar nominations, it is still just as funny. Well, it's just as funny if you're someone who can tolerate Dangerfield's wacky style of humor or the notion of cross dressing itself. Either of these two movies should be able to help you see the lighter side of drag and, if you allow yourself to find it funny, will have you laughing your fake boobs and wig off.

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