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They explore and to their dismay, they only see some cast irons, some crappy plates and a chuck wagon. I'm not even sure I see a fridge, though there must be some someplace because the fish doesn't go bad overnight.

Ashley, Laurine and Robin are all ecstatic. They were raised to love the great outdoors and they feel right at home. Meanwhile, the men all turn into big babies. Eli, always the smart-ass, complains non-stop through the night to both his fellow chefs and to the cameras. I'm sick of him. Michael says that the whole ranch area looks like a scene from a horror movie. Meanwhile, I smirk, noticing that his face in the interview is totally sunburnt. Ron dismantles a tree and arranges the branches in a voodoo ritual that he claims will keep the snakes away.

Morning dawns and before we know it, the clock hits 10 a.m. The chefs all immediately jump to work, knowing that they have a scant 75 minutes to get their dishes ready. As if the three ceviches in the Quickfire weren't enough, Mattin and Ron have both decided to make ceviches in the desert. Mattin is pleased that his ceviche dish won't require him to actually cook anything, but I remember how that tactic spelled doom for Sam in the Season 2 finale.

By the way, the male chefs are still complaining about the heat and the conditions. I yell at the TV, in Tom Colicchio fashion, "It's called Top CHEF, not Top WHINER!"

Time runs down and like a mirage, the judges appear. Padma rings the meal bell and lunch is served. The cowboys head down, hungry to eat some good food.

The chefs are cooking in four teams of three. First up, we have Pompous Mike with a spin on pork gyro and an apple, fennel tzatziki. Tim says that the meat is cooked well but that it lacks pizzazz. Cowgirl Laurine has a sauteed arctic char with tomatillo salsa and to me, it looks like the only truly southwestern dish of the entire group. She also did a baked potato on a grill, which is a huge accomplishment. Tim Love adores the taste of the grill Laurine incorporated and Gail says that it's flavorful. Lastly, we have smart-ass Eli with a tuna sandwich. Gail says that it's a strange dish for a ranch and Padma wants more flavor.

Next we have Ash with a grilled chicken paillard with corn succotash. Tom calls it sensible but Gail thinks that there's too much bacon grease in it. Mattin has a ceviche three ways: salmon with apple, spicy tuna and corn with cod. Readers of my recaps will know that he has violated the rule of "do one thing and do it well," and indeed, the cod in his ceviche is disgusting. Tom Colicchio actually gets up from the table, walks away and spits it onto the Las Vegas sand. Robin, also in their group, has major problems as well. She has done a grilled romaine salad with "drunken" prawns and her prawns are disgusting. Tom Love says that it tastes like he sucked on chlorine.

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