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I had been salivating in anticipation for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for weeks. Every TV spot I saw and every early review I read just reinforced what I already knew. This movie was going to be an absolute horror show and writing about its utter incompetence would give me unending pleasure. Recent action tentpole films have gotten so out of hand by trying to top one another that it's become a farce. The race to be the biggest and baddest at the multiplex has resulted in films that are so predictably similar one could practically write an article about the movie before even seeing it. And that, my friends, is exactly what I decided to do. I would jump in on the ground floor before the heaping pile of blogs and publications ripping the latest Michael Bayapalooza grew too high. But just as I was sitting down to get my snark on I suddenly remembered an encounter I had not even a month ago. One that made me re-think my tune. I will explain.

This past Memorial Day at a family gathering, I found myself in a conversation with my youngest sister's boyfriend, who I had never really gotten to know even though I always thought he was a super nice guy. We muddled along pleasantly enough, not talking about anything in particular, but it didn't take long before we ran head first into a wall. Scrambling to break the silence I grabbed the most readily available thought in my head.

"So I saw Terminator 4 yesterday."

His eyes widened. "Really?!"

What a fantastic development this was. Not only had we stumbled upon some common ground, not only was I going to be able to quell my burning desire to express my absolute loathing for this film (that desire was ultimately exorcised in my first entry of this column a few weeks ago), but here was a chance to impart some real wisdom. Using my satirical cinematic intellect, I could spare this young man the hair-pulling frustration of watching John Connor traipse around the headquarters of an army whose soul goal is his demise and seeing them send ONE FREAKING MACHINE AFTER HIM!!! Whoa, sorry about that. I guess I'm not as was adjusted as I thought.

Wanting to savor his reaction, I milked the moment for it for all it was worth.

"It...was..." Dramatic pause. "Awful!"

His face sank in disappointment. "Oh man, I thought after that pause you were going to say awesome."

Ah youth, I thought to myself. I proceeded to explain that while I agreed that the trailer was amazing, the movie was a non-stop series of expensive detonations and ridiculous plot holes – though you could argue that plot holes are what Terminator is all about - but I digress. As we continued to talk, he told me he still planned on seeing Terminator 4, which I understood. Sometimes you just need that trash fix - hey, I saw The Golden Compass. But then things took a startling and somewhat disturbing turn. Looking to still pass on some knowledge and point him in the right direction, I suggested that if he really wanted to see some good summer fun he should check out Star Trek.

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