June 2009 Forecast
By David Mumpower
June 5, 2009
4) Year One
While the debate about which Paleolithic era movie trailer looks worse between this and Land of the Lost, I give this one the nod in terms of box office potential. Some (extraordinarily foolish) people seem to laugh at these commercials, which makes me weep for our educational system. Jack Black is such a hit or miss comedian that I always brace for the worst the instant I hit theaters. Memories of Nacho Libre and Envy linger. Michael Cera has shown impeccable taste with his first three major films (I'm not counting Extreme Movie), but it's fair to wonder if he is running out of new ways to play himself on camera. Then again, Woody Allen has made an entire career out of exactly the same mannerisms Cera has displayed thus far in his career, meaning that his future wife should be con on adoption. But I digress. The point is that Year One is marginally better looking than Land of the Lost, which is the nightmare scenario for the latter film but no accomplishment of note for Year One. Both look like dreck and I'll be surprised if either breaks out.
5) Land of the Lost
Just a couple of weeks ago, I would have placed this title much higher. Despite the abominable trailers that have been on display since the Super Bowl, I kept expecting nostalgia to start to win over the skeptics. Instead, what I have seen is exactly the same behavior that occurred with Speed Racer. No, that's not good. Will Ferrell has been up and down a lot in his unexpected career as an A-List actor. Step Brothers managed $100 million, but memories of the Semi-Pro trainwreck linger. A lot of people seem to have it in for Blades of Glory as well, which is flat out insane to me. Anyway, Land of the Lost was intended to be another attempt to cash in on 1980s nostalgia. Instead, it appears likely to be a one weekend wonder at best and an unmitigated disaster at worst.
6) The Proposal
Hey, didn't you used to be Sandra Bullock? What in God's name did Jesse James do to you? It's always hard to watch when the girl next door goes dark, which is why Meg Ryan has all but vanished from the public consciousness, save for lip jokes. Despite her odd personal choices, Bullock's last two films averaged right at $50 million in domestic receipts. In fact, even Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous made $48.5 million. We have to go all the way back to April of 2002 and Murder by Numbers to find a major release of hers that made less than $47 million. Her films don't break out any more (she hasn't had a $100 million hit since the first Miss Congeniality in December of 2000), but they also don't bomb. The addition of the impossibly good looking and charismatic Ryan Reynolds as her employee/love interest/victim of cougar attack goes a long way in assuring that doesn't happen here, either.