The Amazing Race Recap
She's a Little Scared of Stick, but I Think She'll Be OK!
By David Mumpower
March 16, 2009
The bad news for the flight attendants is that the snowplow challenge appears to be a breeze. Absolutely no one fails to complete the assignment and it appears to take just a few minutes to finish. The good news for the flight attendants is that Kisha and Jen are having a bad day. After having to drive in first gear the entire way to the apartment complex, they pick up their bride and head to the church. At this point, the editing crew starts giving them the playful music reserved for people who have become something of a laughing stock. Out of the teams that have gotten the wacky shenanigans ditty thus far, only the stuntmen have survived. Meanwhile, the flight attendants have gotten their act together a bit and also grabbed a bride, whom they inform, "We look so gross for a wedding. Sorry about our dress. If we really came to your wedding, we would look nicer." The people who decided to name this episode, "She's a Little Scared of Stick, but I Think She'll Be OK!" really blew it here. There were much better options on the table.
The first team to plow the virgin snow (Beavis and Butthead alert) are Tammy and Victor. Their next clue informs them they are headed to something that is absolutely impossible to pronounce that we're going to call Bibliotekah, the largest library in Siberia. I don't think the actual name of it can be pronounced using the English alphabet, but Victor sure tries, God love him. According to my TiVo, it legitimately takes him 13 seconds to spit out all the words. This is exactly why college Russian Literature classes are always empty.
The hits just keep on coming for Kisha and Jen. While trying to get their bride to the church on time, they forget to put their trust in God and man or something. They wind up flooding the engine of their car although I have to think that all of that first gear driving has probably led to some grinding of the gears as well. Amazingly, they're not having the worst luck out of the stragglers. The flight attendants have taken their bride to the wrong church, which cannot be a good sign of luck for her marriage. The groom is probably thrilled to hear that he may be getting out of this scot-free, though.
The final road block of this leg provides a couple of surprises. The first is that the cheerleaders have caught up with the brother/sister duo, which means the mother/son tandem is close behind as well. The second is that The Amazing Race wants its contestants to get nekkid this year. Ratings must be down or something. This event requires one of the two players to strip down to their underwear and run about a mile and a half, a "Russian marathon". If you go to the show's official web site today, you will see that the front page is comprised almost exclusive of shots of the women who chose to participate. This competition turned into soft core pornography so gradually I hardly noticed. Then again, curiously absent from these pictures is Phil himself, who does strip down to his basic Phil-ness to demonstrate the assigned task. (But don't fear - we've remedied that situation at the top of the page.)