TiVoPlex

TiVoPlex for Tuesday, March 3, 2009 through Monday, March 9, 2009

By John Seal

March 2, 2009

Eye eye, skipper

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From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 03/03/09

9:35 PM Showtime 3
Poor Boy's Game (2007 CAN): Do you like boxing movies? Better yet, do you like boxing movies with the attendant boxing movie clichés in place, plus a unique twist? Then you'll love Poor Boy's Game! Rossif Sutherland, Donald's non-famous offspring, stars as Donnie Rose, a white guy doing a nine-year stretch for beating a black guy (K.C.Collins) within an inch of his life. Newly released Donnie heads back to the mean streets from whence he came — and where the local African-Canadian community anticipate his return with hopes that pugilist extraordinaire Ossie Paris (Flex Alexander) will pour a can of whoop-ass over him. Donnie accepts the challenge, but needs a trainer to get in shape — and could there be a better choice than victim's father George (Danny Glover)? Cue irony, incredulity, and a Rocky-style-montage, and whilst Sutherland can't even hold Sly Stallone's thespian jockstrap, Glover and Collins are both outstanding. DirecTV indicates this will be airing in widescreen; considering Showtime 3's recent penchant for misinformation I'd take that with a grain of salt the size of a punching bag.




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Wednesday 03/04/09

Midnight HBO Signature
El Rey del los Huevenos (2006 CHI): Director Boris Quercia stars as an overly honest taxi driver in this amusing if far-fetched romantic comedy from Chile. He plays Anselmo, a painfully earnest fellow who only sees the good in his passengers, and frequently gets taken advantage of as a result. Case in point: beautiful Eva (Angie Jibaja) suckers him into taking care of her four-year whilst she's out of town, and Anselmo quickly discovers the youngster is far more than he can handle. Cue the cavalry, which arrives in the form of best friend's gal pal Sandra (Tamara Acosta), who offers to help our sad sack hero with the child-minding — and cue plucked heartstrings and Cupidian bowstrings as the two discover they may be made for each other. It all adds up to good, inconsequential fun.

2:35 AM Encore Action
Empire of the Ants (1977 USA): Bert I. Gordon, the King of all things super-sized, had a substantial success in 1976 with his giant monster epic, Food of the Gods. (I was 14-years-old at the time and bought a ticket myself.) AIP asked him to go back to the well the following year, and Mr. BiG obliged by delivering this pretty awful thriller about our terrifying Hymenopteran friends, who (according to Wikipedia) constitute 15-25% of the terrestrial animal biomass. Think about that...and then imagine 15-25% of Earth's biomass enlarged to several hundreds its normal size! Why, that would constitute at least 400 or 500% of biomass at that rate — which means there'd be a distinct scarcity of leftover terrestrial animal biomass available for humans. Scared yet? As with Food of the Gods, Empire of the Ants is ostensibly based on an H. G. Wells' story — Wells was box office gold in those days — but it's little more than a ‘70s take on a ‘50s sci-fi movie. Did I mention that Joan Collins is the big name star — and that Encore is airing this in widescreen? Resistance is futile.


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