TiVoPlex
TiVoPlex for Tuesday, March 3, 2009 through Monday, March 9, 2009
By John Seal
March 2, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 03/03/09
9:35 PM Showtime 3
Poor Boy's Game (2007 CAN): Do you like boxing movies? Better yet, do you like boxing movies with the attendant boxing movie clichés in place, plus a unique twist? Then you'll love Poor Boy's Game! Rossif Sutherland, Donald's non-famous offspring, stars as Donnie Rose, a white guy doing a nine-year stretch for beating a black guy (K.C.Collins) within an inch of his life. Newly released Donnie heads back to the mean streets from whence he came — and where the local African-Canadian community anticipate his return with hopes that pugilist extraordinaire Ossie Paris (Flex Alexander) will pour a can of whoop-ass over him. Donnie accepts the challenge, but needs a trainer to get in shape — and could there be a better choice than victim's father George (Danny Glover)? Cue irony, incredulity, and a Rocky-style-montage, and whilst Sutherland can't even hold Sly Stallone's thespian jockstrap, Glover and Collins are both outstanding. DirecTV indicates this will be airing in widescreen; considering Showtime 3's recent penchant for misinformation I'd take that with a grain of salt the size of a punching bag.
Wednesday 03/04/09
Midnight HBO Signature
El Rey del los Huevenos (2006 CHI): Director Boris Quercia stars as an overly honest taxi driver in this amusing if far-fetched romantic comedy from Chile. He plays Anselmo, a painfully earnest fellow who only sees the good in his passengers, and frequently gets taken advantage of as a result. Case in point: beautiful Eva (Angie Jibaja) suckers him into taking care of her four-year whilst she's out of town, and Anselmo quickly discovers the youngster is far more than he can handle. Cue the cavalry, which arrives in the form of best friend's gal pal Sandra (Tamara Acosta), who offers to help our sad sack hero with the child-minding — and cue plucked heartstrings and Cupidian bowstrings as the two discover they may be made for each other. It all adds up to good, inconsequential fun.
2:35 AM Encore Action
Empire of the Ants (1977 USA): Bert I. Gordon, the King of all things super-sized, had a substantial success in 1976 with his giant monster epic, Food of the Gods. (I was 14-years-old at the time and bought a ticket myself.) AIP asked him to go back to the well the following year, and Mr. BiG obliged by delivering this pretty awful thriller about our terrifying Hymenopteran friends, who (according to Wikipedia) constitute 15-25% of the terrestrial animal biomass. Think about that...and then imagine 15-25% of Earth's biomass enlarged to several hundreds its normal size! Why, that would constitute at least 400 or 500% of biomass at that rate — which means there'd be a distinct scarcity of leftover terrestrial animal biomass available for humans. Scared yet? As with Food of the Gods, Empire of the Ants is ostensibly based on an H. G. Wells' story — Wells was box office gold in those days — but it's little more than a ‘70s take on a ‘50s sci-fi movie. Did I mention that Joan Collins is the big name star — and that Encore is airing this in widescreen? Resistance is futile.
10:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
No, My Darling Daughter (1961 GB): Michael Redgrave stars in this frothy cinematic souffle whipped up by British comedy specialist Ralph Thomas. Sir Michael portrays Sir Matthew, a wealthy businessman trying to keep his out of control daughter (Juliet Mills) under lock and key and away from the son of an American colleague. Redgrave was well past his prime at this point, and the film is maddeningly predictable. However, its obscurity — especially for American viewers — and its cast (which also includes Michael Craig, Roger Livesey, and Carry-On queen Joan Sims) render it a mild buy in the TiVoPlex. It's followed at 12:15 PM by Lock Up Your Daughters! (1969), an 18th century take on the same timeless theme of wild youth run amuck featuring Christopher Plummer, Susannah York, Ian Bannen, Glynis Johns, Roy Kinnear, Roy Dotrice, and a host of other familiar faces. It's based upon Henry Fielding's delightfully titled play, Rape upon Rape, and was shot by Peter Suschitzky!
7:00 PM Sundance
Poison Friends (2006 FRA): The previously unheralded (at least to me) Thibault Vincon takes the lead in this talky but rewarding French drama. Vincon plays Andre Morney, a self-assured college student who seems perfectly at ease in the company of his intellectual elders and is more than happy to share his considerable wisdom with underclassmen. Andre becomes a role model for younger students Eloi and Alexandre (Malik Zidi and Alexandre Steiger), who decide to adopt his philosophy ("people write because they are too weak not to write") and abandon their own aspirations as playwright and novelist. A film primarily about writing and thinking doesn't sound terribly exciting, but director Emmanuel Bourdieu successfully blends dry wit, intellectual rigor, and psychological exploration to good effect. Also airs 3/5 at 1:00 AM and 3/7 at 11:00 PM.
Thursday 03/05/09
7:45 AM Turner Classic Movies
Night Unto Night (1949 USA): There's a passel of Ronald Reagan features airing on TCM today, most of which are frequent fliers, but here's one that doesn't get off the ground too often. Only the second feature to be helmed by director Don Siegel, Night Unto Night stars The Gipper as John Galen, a Chicago scientist stricken with a mysterious and apparently terminal illness that involves epileptic fits and spooky organ music. He heads east to rest and recuperate, and meets Ann Gracy (Viveca Lindfors), who owns a seaside Victorian mansion but can't enter it because she fears her late husband's ghost resides within. Enter bohemian C. L. Shawn (Broderick Crawford), who tries to help our protagonists by talking their ears' off with incessant chatter about spirituality, mysticism, and psychology. Based on a Philip Wylie novel, Night unto Night is, indeed, very talky, but is still worth a look for Peverell Marley's atmospheric cinematography and Franz Waxman's score — not to mention the sight of "The Great Communicator" getting an earful of proto-counterculture navel-gazing from the woefully miscast Crawford.
10:30 AM Showtime 3
Chasing Ghosts: Beyond the Arcade (2007 USA): Did you know that Arnold Schwarzenegger made his fortune by selling drugs and working as a prostitute? That's perhaps the most surprising revelation of this extremely enjoyable documentary about the glory days of the video arcade. Focusing on half a dozen or so men who became temporary celebrities thanks to their prowess at such games as Frogger, Burgertime, Pac Man, and the most manly of them all, Missile Command, Chasing Ghosts features tons of archival footage and plenty of amusing interview segments. Most of these guys would happily be described as nerds, a few of them are totally over the edge, but their passion is undeniable, and who am I to criticize? After all, I spend all MY spare time watching movies - and there's even less reward for that than racking up a record score on Ms. Pac Man.
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Marius (1931 FRA): The first entry in director Marcel Pagnol's "first name" trilogy, Marius stars Raimu as the titular Marseilles café owner. Marius is in love with Fanny (Orane Demazis) and works with his son Cesar (Pierre Fresnay), characters whose names would later supply the titles for Pagnol's next two productions. All three films are leisurely, avuncular expositions on life and love in 1930s France, and cinephiles have long been smitten with them; when the rep house was in vogue you could count on them turning up at least once every couple of years and sometimes more frequently. It's been a long time since I've seen any of the three, so I can't offer much in the way of appraisal here, but I'm delighted to have the opportunity to reacquaint myself with Marius, which was co-directed by Hungarian émigré Alexander Korda, on his way to Britain and huge success via production company London Films. It's followed at 7:30 PM by Korda's first British film, 1932's Service For Ladies, in which Leslie Howard plays a headwaiter with social aspirations far above his class.
9:00 PM Fox Movie Channel
The Vindicator (1986 USA-CAN): I'd accuse this dreadful sci-fi actioner of being a Robocop ripoff — except it came out one full calendar year before Paul Verhoeven's dystopian classic. Which leaves The Vindicator as a prescient, but still dreadful, sci-fi actioner, I guess. The delightfully named David McIlwraith stars as scientist Carl Lehman, whose invention — an indestructible space suit—is grafted to his body after an unfortunate but intentional "accident" leaves him dead. Mayhem ensues, much of it in a reliably low-rent sewer system. Even a supporting cast with the likes of Pam Grier and Maury Chaykin can't save this one, but it's not on DVD, so fans off all things psychotronic may want to check it out anyway.
Friday 03/06/09
7:00 PM Sundance
The Boss of It All (2006 DEN): How did I miss this one? After all, I'm a reasonably big Lars von Trier fan, but The Boss of It All has somehow completely eluded me. Apparently, it finds the cheeky director returning to his Nordic roots, and features plenty of barbed dialogue about those iniquitous and cold-hearted Icelanders. Yeah, it's all in good fun — until someone's financial system melts down, and then everyone gets hurt. Play nice, Lars.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Willie Dynamite (1973 USA): A pair of quite obscure black action films premiere tonight in the TCM Underground, beginning with this so-so tale of Willie D, a well accoutred New York street hustler fighting The Man and the competition. There are very few deviations from the "blaxploitation" template here, and the film is, dare I say it, a bit dull. Still, the attraction for most folks will be the presence of Sesame Street's Roscoe Orman in the lead role of Willie, whose outfits actually bear a slight resemblance to Big Bird's plumage. Don't tune in expecting to see anything as good as Elmo's Potty Time (2006), however. It's followed at 1:00 AM by the even rarer Sweet Jesus, Preacherman! (1973), a drama starring Hit Man's Roger Mosley as a professional assassin posing as a preacher.
Sunday 03/08/09
3:00 AM Encore Love Stories
Arizona Dream (1992 USA): It's recently come to my attention that my non-existent appreciation for comic Jerry Lewis needs to, er, begin to exist. (Thanks, Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award.) TCM has some J-Lew on the slate later this month, but I'm going to start my rehab with Arizona Dream, in which Jerry plays a Four Corners car salesman eager to turn his business over to his young nephew (Johnny Depp), who already has a job: counting fish. Okay, maybe this isn't your father's Lewis laugh-a-thon: it was directed by the ever quirky Emir Kusturica, co-stars Faye Dunaway,Vincent Gallo, Lili Taylor, and Michael J. Pollard, and features lots of accordion music. LOTS.
10:45 AM Encore Dramatic Stories
Golden Door (2006 ITA): The beautiful, wistful, and utterly mysterious Charlotte Gainsbourg stars in this magical-realist peasant epic about a clan of Sicilians emigrating to the United States at the turn of the 20th century. She plays cod Britisher Lucy Reed, who takes passage with the Mancuso family to Ellis Island, where eugenicists are trying to learn which racial "stock" will be most beneficial for America's future. Directed by Emanuele Crialese, Golden Door won the Jury Prize at the Venice International Film Festival—and is definitely not your run of the mill immigration fantasy. Look for the late, great Vincent Schiavelli as marriage broker Don Luigi.
Monday 03/09/09
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Lured (1947 USA): The only film in which Lucille Ball and Boris Karloff ever worked together, Lured is as underappreciated as a Douglas Sirk film can get. Lucy plays Sandra Carpenter, an American dancer in London enlisted by the police to help track down a serial killer who's murdered one of her friends. The killer selects his victims from newspaper personals, so Scotland Yard asks Sandra to place her own ads in hopes they'll flush him — or her — out. As in The Dark Corner and Five Came Back, Lucy acquits herself admirably in a serious role, and whilst Boris doesn't have a great deal to do, there's a fine supporting cast on hand, including George Sanders, Cedric Hardwicke, Alan Napier, George Zucco, and Joseph Calleia. Above average production values, including excellent cinematography by William Daniels (Brute Force, The Naked City) render Lured an alluring TiVoPlex prospect.
10:30 PM IFC
Day Watch (2006 RUS): Day Watch, Night Watch, Baywatch — believe it or not, I haven't seen any of them. But am I going to pass up the opportunity to watch a Russian horror film? Not bloody likely.