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The next team to hate is Brad and Victoria and the reason is egomania. "We are the bad-assed older couple," they assert. Heavily edited footage shows them working out in a gym together with him throwing a medicine ball directly at her stomach as hard as he can. Charming. This team is particularly easy to hate in that any time their names are mentioned, long time viewers of The Amazing Race will hear Jonathan Baker's voice saying "Victooooooooriaaaaa" and shudder.

Next up are Mel and Mike, the source of the greatest amount of curiosity this season. Reality television shows have decided to cast one semi-famous person each year in order to create more intrigue. In this case, it's Mike White, the writer of School of Rock and Nacho Libre. The box office analyst in me feels the need to point out that each of these movies earned over $80 million domestically. The movie lover in me counters that School of Rock was a great premise that was poorly executed and Nacho Libre was a film I ranked as the #155 film out of the 159 I saw in 2006. In short, I loathed it and wished bad things upon its writer. The Amazing Race is kindly offering me the opportunity to relish in Mike White's suffering as revenge for my suffering through Nacho Libre. So, I love the producers of the show and haaaaaaaate the team of Mel and Mike.

Amanda and Kris are an early 20s couple who have already been together for three years. Their interview segment consists of them expressing monogamous devotion to one another. They are young, beautiful, and hopelessly in love. If you can't hate them for having everything you want but don't have, you're just not trying. All kidding aside, After super-mom Margie and her adoring son, Luke, these two make me want to perform acts of violence upon them the least. They forcibly remind me of season 6's uber-popular couple, Kris and Jon, which is almost certainly the point.

The second to last tandem is Mark and Michael. These two are hard to hate unless you had a negative experience watching the 1981 classic (?) Under the Rainbow. They are brothers who are both 4'9" tall yet have found clever ways to take advantage of their shortcomings (I swear that pun is unintended). As professional stuntmen, they have worked on big budget actions films such as Spider-Man. Even better, they have gotten work as jockeys and stuntmen in productions such as Seabiscuit that require men their size for the racing sequences. In fact, Mark is a professional jockey as a side gig in addition to being a stuntman. These overachievers have capitalized by turning the potential negatives of their lives into positives, making them shiny, happy people with vacation homes in Hawaii. You may be taller, but they are richer and more successful. Hate them with every fiber of your being.

The hate train makes one final stop before pulling into its destination. In this case, the choices are Cara and Jaime and I have to say that they are quite easy to despise. The former NFL cheerleaders love them some them. Jaime has a passive-aggressive discussion wherein she indicates that strong, aggressive women are castigated as bitches but then she immediately states that she doesn't care about such allegations. It's hypocritical nonsense, but she huffs out her ample bosom while saying it, making her words quite a bit easier to ignore. For her part, Cara doesn't seem that bad, but I think that she is going to be found guilty by association a lot over the course of the season. Jaime has all of the classic earmarks of the reality television uber-bitch.

Now you know why we hate all of the contestants. Check back tomorrow to read the recap of the episode itself.

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