The Amazing Race 13, Episode 1

Bees Are Much Calmer Than All This!

By Reagen Sulewski

October 1, 2008

Can you read? Me neither. This could be a problem.

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It's sort of stunning to think that The Amazing Race, the ultimate travel porn show, is now in its 13th season, considering how many times it's been on the chopping block, and how expensive it must be getting to fly these groups around the world. But despite the occasional misstep (*cough*Family Edition*coughcough*), it still remains one of the most compelling reality shows ever created.

This season's race starts in Los Angeles, with the teams introduced while racing into Memorial Coliseum like they're finishing the Olympic Marathon. The 11 teams for this season are:

Toni and Dallas, a mother and son team, whose hobbies apparently include playing basketball and making sandwiches. Dallas looks like a pretty competitive and physically fit dude, so we'll see if Toni can keep up with him. In the brief bit we see here, they seem rather level-headed and perhaps she is the analytical mind to his physical presence.

Nick and Starr, a brother and sister team. Starr is a former Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, which becomes apparent when their intro video includes footage of them doing a dance routine together... wait, what? Okay, according to his bio, Nick is a Broadway performer (uh huh...), but still, that's a couple kinds of wrong. Ross and Monica Gellar think you two are too perky. Also, camo tank tops? Ye gods.

Ken and Tina, a separated couple. Ken is Ken Greene, a former safety for the Arizona Cardinals and the San Diego Chargers, which potentially gives him a physical advantage over a large portion of the field, or could mean he's completely broken down. Their story is that he cheated on his wife, who we are introduced to with (AAAGH!) a shot of her wearing a bathing suit that's too revealing by half. Let's just skip past this and forget we saw it, okay?


Aja and Ty are a long-distance dating couple. They seem completely normal and unremarkable and feel like an early favorite to go a long ways. Sorry guys, you get more of a write-up if you're a freakshow.

Marissa and Brooke, listed as "Southern Belles", run in with matching pink track suits, which is a huge warning flag for crazy, in my opinion. This seems like the best bet for a team that will rely on their looks for help in the race, and have a total meltdown catfight somewhere in the middle of Africa. This is also the team I will not be able to tell its members apart for the entire time they last.

Andrew and Dan are frat brothers, and look like two slightly off-model Seth Rogans. They could be the comedy relief of the show or get old quickly. Hey, just like Seth Rogan!

Anthony and Stephanie are our required "let's do the race to see if we should get married" couple. My standard answer for all these couples: if you have to ask, it's no.

Anita and Arthur are 50+ hippie beekeepers. Dead team walking!

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